[Ansteorra] On Understanding (formerly An explination on my actions.)

[Leslie Snipes]

What I read the last couple of days on the list
reflects what I've seen on other lists and society at
large of late.  Those with a disability or illness are
supposed to just brush off any comment rather than
having a feeling and reacting to it.

The second thing that happens is a flurry of private
emails because many prefer these matters to be
addressed off list.  However, that can be particularly
overwhelming to one who is working with a limitation
of any kind.

This list does go out to a very broad audience.  It
would be nice if one is jesting to make that clear. 
Ask yourself how your post would read to a complete
stranger because many who read it may be just that. 
In addition, please be sensitive that emails don't
always convey "tone" well.  While smiley faces may be
going out of style, I'd rather see a comment followed
by a smiley that tells me the comment was in jest
rather than wonder if it was a serious, hence
potentially offensive.  I prefer to give posters the
benefit of the doubt but posters shouldn't be offended
if they're called for a potentially offensive comment.

Wolfgang, while I can understand your position and
desire to put an end to the threads, I think you and
Joshua have raised a bigger issue that every society
has to deal with.

I don't know Wolfgang or Joshua.  I don't agree with
Joshua's initial reaction (and certainly not the
language he used).  However, I couldn't help but
notice that folks came running to Wolfgang's defense
(maybe he has ADD too; surely he didn't mean offense)
while there was no acknowledgment of the obvious pain
Joshua was feeling - only criticism of how he
expressed it.  I would have expected better of this
good, gentle society.

On Joshua's broader point, one should be able to say:
"I have [whatever]." and not be criticized for it, nor
have it turned into a joke, nor treated flippantly;
nor used as a weapon against them.  (I had a series of
strokes a couple of years ago.  My close friends get
to joke about "brain damage" but I wouldn't take it
kindly if someone I didn't know well made a similar
joke to me; ESPECIALLY if it weren't very clear it was
a joke.)  I too have health problems which now prevent
me from getting out to play in the SCA and it would be
quite sad to think that those with lesser problems
were being treated poorly at events or on the email
lists.

Joshua, just as Wolfgang can't shut down a thread
unilaterally, I think you'll find your "no tolerance"
policy somewhat unenforceable, especially on a huge
email group.  I think you'll find that the vast
majority in the SCA have no ill intent in them and, if
you perceive such, you can usually find out the actual
intent just by asking.  If you want others to forgive
and/or tolerate your own issues or foibles, then you
must be tolerant as well.

Pandora


--- Joshua McCoy <myrddin at nerdshack.com> wrote:

> Hi every one!  I am making this post to save me time
> and energy on making personal e-mails to every one
> on why I did with the post "A MAJOR
> FUSTRATION!!!!!!!"
> 
> 1)      I have a zero tolerance policy with comments
> such as "ADD huh?  You should... oh look at the
> shiny object."  Because of the next 3 reasons.
> 
> 2)      I am a domestic violence victim.
> 
> 3)      I was made fun of all of my life by other
> people just like the person that I told in my last
> post that is still in lots of Dog Do Do with me.
> 
> 4)      Also it shows how ignorant and stupid that
> the person is when they make these type of comments
> such as "ADD huh?  You should... oh look at the
> shiny object."
> 
> Yes I was wrong on how I went about this problem. 
> The harshness and the point that I was making
> remains, I will not ever take this type of Doggy Do
> Do again or in the future by any one.  As for the
> comment "I have ADD myself and it is not an excuse
> for poor spelling and grammar."  I have the one
> simple point to make every one has there strengths
> and weaknesses, and one of mine is English so it is
> a legitimate excuse that I am ADD.  This is why I
> did the public post to show others that I will not
> take this type of Doggy Do Do and to let the person
> that I was and still am mad with the same thing.  If
> no one likes my harshness then so be it.  Now every
> one now why I am and was so mad.  There will be no
> further discussion about this any more, end of
> story, and point made.
> 
> From,
> 
> Joshua McCoy
> _______________________________________________
> Ansteorra mailing list
> Ansteorra at lists.ansteorra.org
>
http://lists.ansteorra.org/listinfo.cgi/ansteorra-ansteorra.org
> 



 
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