[Ansteorra] Fw: [SmallGrayBear] Iron Chef Marshin Fayne, explained.

[David Backlin]

----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Kat the Strange" <katthestrange at aol.com>


Okay, we figure you probably have a lot of questions about Iron Chef Marshin 
Fayne, and that's good. We have a lot of answers for your questions.

Now, first and foremost -- the timetable for when this will take place. Now, 
knowing that we don't have all the accoutrements on hand for a traditional 
Kitchen Stadium, you undoubtedly know that you need to bring your own 
equipment. Not to worry, we're going to give you plenty of time for set-up. 
Here's how it goes down.

At 9am on the morning of Thursday, March 13th, we'll open the gates of 
Marshin Fayne to our teams. Each team will be expected to provide their own 
cooking equipment. That includes, but is not limited to: tables to cook on, 
tables to serve on, any appliances on which to cook, any cookware, any 
utensils, any sources of heat -- that sort of thing. We will allow each team 
one and only one outlet to hook an extension cord into -- if you absolutely 
have to have an electrical appliance for your cooking.

Each team must also bring their own pantry. These are the items you will use 
to take the secret ingredient to the next level -- to elevate it to success, 
as it were. These items can include any consumable item that's not a 
pre-made dish. That's all your fruits, vegetables, meats, stuff like that. 
We will allow certain things that would just be a bother to make on site --  
condiments like mayonnaise and Worchestershire sauce, pre-mixed seasoning 
blends like curry powder, and pre-packaged things like chicken broth and 
breadcrumbs. We know that it would probably daunt even the most experienced 
chefs to make some of these items in the context of this contest.
You noticed I mentioned mayonnaise. Right. Well, we all know that mayonnaise 
isn't a period construction. Though eggs and oil did exist in the Middle 
Ages, the thought of condensing them together in an emulsion didn't occur 
until quite a few years after the death of Elizabeth the First. What we're 
trying to do is show how good our chefs are, even in the extremes of an 
outdoor venue. We'd love to see someone come in and prepare an entirely 
period meal with our secret ingredient -- using all period methods and even 
wearing the correct period garb that might go with the course of food. But 
we are practical folks, and even we know that building a bread oven from 
scratch and digging a fire pit would take a whole heck of a lot of time and 
just might not be worthwhile to someone who's coming to our Arena to show 
off their expertise in the culinary arts in just one day -- though, if you 
really want to build a bread oven and fire pit in Marshin Fayne lands, let's 
talk, because we think that would be really cool.

Anyway. that's a lot of extra stuff you may not have needed. You have from 
9am to 11am to get your kitchen setup to Marshin Fayne, get your pantry 
down, and set everything up. And that means everything. Once the contest 
begins, you can't bring more stuff in. You'll only be allowed to leave if 
you absolutely have to utilize a portable facility -- and trust me, you'll 
have an escort.

So, it gets around to eleven o'clock, and you're done. Well, what do you go 
do? If I were you, I'd go out and get myself a bite of lunch. Cooking is a 
hungry job -- you don't want to go from nine in the morning to five at night 
without grabbing a bite to eat. Or maybe you do -- that's up to you, but it 
doesn't seem wise. One way or another, you are going to have to vacate the 
premises at 11am so we can get about our own little bit of sinister work in 
the compound.

While you're eating your lunch or doing whatever it is you're going to do 
during your break, we'll be putting the finishing touches on the 
competition. We'll inspect your equipment, make sure you didn't sneak 
anything suspicious with your pantry, and ensure that everything is safe and 
ready to go. We'll also get the area ready for our judges and 
commentators -- ooh, I love this job! -- and bring out the secret 
ingredient, under guard.

You have to be back at 11:45. 45 minutes for lunch is pretty good -- more 
than you get in some Gleann Abhann workplaces, that's for sure. As much as I 
know you love the folks at the Green Rice Bowl and Phil's Grill, chances are 
that's not going to be enough time for you to stand in line, eat, and get 
back. I'd suggest sending a friend ahead to get your lunch.

Once you've consumed that ample repast, get your buns down to Marshin Fayne 
(buns, get it? Get it? Oh, never mind). You gotta be ready to go at 11:45. 
We'll take a head count. Then at 11:55, we'll reveal the secret 
ingredient -- that culinary implement of destruction or success that will 
determine whether your cuisine will reign supreme. Trust me -- it's a good 
one. Something you will find in almost any culture in medieval times. You're 
gonna like it.

At 12 noon Central Daylight Time, we will begin. And since we understand the 
duress you might be under, after spending the better part of a week sweating 
or freezing in the fickle Mississippi weather, living in a tent and wearing 
funny clothes, we're not going to give you an hour to create culinary 
masterpieces. We're going to give you five hours. Five whole hours to create 
epicurean masterpieces of the highest order. We don't have an upper limit on 
how many dishes you can enter, but you do need to attempt at least three. 
Remember -- there has to be enough to serve our Chairman, his three guest 
judges, and have enough for the general populace to sample, too.

Now, while you, our teams, are competing -- we're going to be having some 
fun. Remember that bit about judges and commentators? We got 'em -- in 
spades. The general populace will be able to watch from a safe distance, and 
our commentators will be watching your moves, sharing the neat and 
interesting things you're going to be doing with our special ingredients. 
Anyone can come watch; but for a simple $1 donation to America's Second 
Harvest, spectators will actually get a chance to sample all the neat things 
that are created here at our own Kitchen Stadium. I'll get to that in a 
moment.

You're going to be busy -- did we mention you might want to bring a few 
chairs? No? Oh, sorry. Better add that to your list. You're going to be 
creating all sorts of interesting combinations and delicious delicacies with 
our secret ingredient. We'll keep time for you, don't you worry about that. 
You just have to be ready to go at five o'clock.

And, when we mean ready, we mean READY. You're not only responsible for your 
own kitchen equipment and food, you're responsible for the appearance of 
your judging table. Instead of what you've seen on that popular television 
show that sparked our interest in holding a contest of this caliber, we're 
making this a bit more user friendly. So it's important to have your grub 
presented in good fashion on your tables. If you want to have someone on 
your team that does nothing but fluff the food, that's fine with us. You can 
have up to five people on your team, by the way.

So, it's five o'clock -- time to walk away, wherever you are at five is 
where you'll finish. You'll get a chance to cool down with a refreshing 
beverage while our judges take the stage.

And here's where the fun really gets going. As the general populace watches, 
the Chairman and his three judges will visit each table in turn, sampling 
each of the delicacies you prepare. You should have at least one 
representative from your team on-hand during this time to explain each 
item -- to express the motivation behind the dish, to share the ingredients 
used, and to impress the judges. Points will be awarded for taste, 
presentation, and originality.

After the Chairman and his judges visits each table, the four will retire to 
a secluded area of the arena to begin their deliberations. That's when the 
general populace who have made their donations to America's Second Harvest 
will be allowed to the tables to sample your culinary efforts. Again, we do 
urge you to have a member of your team available to share details about each 
dish -- this will prevent confusion and quite possibly cross-contamination 
and other issues that, well, no one would want to deal with.

Clan Marshin Fayne will provide non-alcoholic beverages for the folks who 
come in to sample -- it's the least we can do. So there will be beverages to 
go along with the food. That, however, doesn't keep you from plying our 
Chairman and his judges with wine, women, and song -- if that's really what 
you want to do. Personally, I'd just like to try all those delectable 
morsels you're planning to create. but, well, it's not about me, though it 
would be cool if it were and I could savor all that goodness. Guess I'll buy 
one of those dollar tickets, too.

Anyway, after the Chairman and his judges deliberate, they'll come out for 
the judgment. Each team will stand with their table, and as the general 
populace looks on, the Chairman will announce his decision. At this point, 
there will be cheers and huzzahs and an awarding of prizes, and the folks 
who participate in the challenge will get their accolades and everyone will 
be all happy.

The winning team of this contest gets the right to call themselves Iron 
Chefs, in the context of Gulf Wars, Gleann Abhann, Marshin Fayne -- you name 
it. We think that applying yourself in this particular fashion is a culinary 
endeavor worthy of renown, and besides -- it's just plain spiffy that you'd 
care to do this. I mean, if I weren't doing the whole commentator gig, I'd 
be right in there along with the rest of you mugs. No joke. But someone has 
to pull down the big bucks, and, um, well, it's not me, but that's okay, 
because there's always a next time.

Oh, and a few more things. There are a lot of people who are going to be 
coming by to sample your foods. We're not going to discourage subtleties --  
they were a very important part of feasts in the Middle Ages -- but you 
might want to have someone on-hand to mention this so no one gets upset if 
they don't get a slice of your cockatrice. Think about it this way -- you're 
camp cooking for a crowd of 30. In a taster's environment, this should go a 
lot further -- and that means more people will be able to sample your 
epicurean expertise and brag to the Known World about your aptitude. We don't 
want you to be out too much money -- just bring what you think you will need 
in your pantry. You of course will be able to take home any pantry items you 
don't use.

Oh, and when this is all over, you'll have until 6:30pm to pack up the rest 
of your stuff and remove it from our camp. We do have other events going on 
that evening, namely the famed Goods and Services auction that funds the 
Saturday night Seven Deadly Sins party and also gives proceeds to the 
American Cancer Society. Good stuff there. But we have to set up for these 
things -- which means, we'll need your equipment and pantry items out of our 
way at that point.
If you have any other questions, really, it's no bother. Drop us an email 
and just ask -- you can't go wrong just for asking. This is going to be an 
incredible event, something you're going to want to tell your children 
about, something you yourself may wish to enter again and again over the 
years. Just the sort of interesting thing you might expect to find at your 
yearly visit to Gulf Wars.

With culinary anticipation,
THL Katryne MacIntosh the Strange
commentator extraordinaire
(please respond to Lord Roibeard mac Neill at ballyclogh at gmail.com
and to THL Katryne MacIntosh the Strange at KatTheStrange at aol.com)