[Ansteorra] Event Stewards- Stop boring us to death
gwynethb63 at yahoo.com
Wed Jan 20 16:29:19 PST 2010
From: "seoseaweed at gmail.com" <seoseaweed at gmail.com>
To: "Kingdom of Ansteorra - SCA, Inc." <ansteorra at lists.ansteorra.org>
Sent: Wed, January 20, 2010 5:24:42 PM
Subject: [Ansteorra] Event Stewards- Stop boring us to death
Your events are dull.
Yes, a bunch of armored thugs are going to noisily assault each other with furniture. There may be some swag on display that would bring a good price on a seedy Dutch pier. Yes, some deserving people are going to get the Sable Doodad. But think of the overlong court... all those officers- and that one guy who won't stop talking... The Crown will try to spice it up some- but really, aren't Kings usually best at the aforementioned thuggery rather than entertainment? And Queens usually are so swamped by clingy, lace-drenched dons that you'll never see or hear Her outside a few teary but genuine post-thuggery comments. (who's watching our coasts while these dandy duelists clog up the court, by the way?)
What you need is some smut... historical, well-documented, filthy, FUNNY, smut.
And brother, do I ever have it.
We're putting on five short pieces that can be performed together or severally based on a few lewd tales from Chaucer and Boccacio. They are not for young eyes... there are scenes in them that would make a Borgia pope blush and run. Nuns. Monks. Cuckolding. Comedy breasts. Barbary Virgins. This is the really low brow stuff... humor even people above the Red River can get after a case of 3.2.
If you, or any subversive constituency out there would like a visit from the Baron's Men and have a venue that might be a good fit (literally or figuratively) please let me know. Each piece is short- none longer than 10 minutes- and they range from Simple Violence and Marital Commentary all the way up to Outright Blasphemic Proto-Porn complete with Puppet Nudity. Request as many as you like and we'll do the deed on your stage. The only recompense we ask is that you advertise our appearance, give us the opportunity to busk for cash while the audience is still stunned, and let us hawk our NC-17 trinketry and souvenirs to the morally bereft in your group. Everybody loves a "Nuns Have More Fun" pilgrim badge.
No churches, please... we have no interest in being burned at the stake or struck by lightning.
Director of The Bawdy Five and Rescinded Baron of Ravensfort
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