[Ansteorra] Event Stewards- Stop boring us to death
seoseaweed at gmail.com
seoseaweed at gmail.com
Wed Jan 20 15:24:42 PST 2010
Your events are dull.
Yes, a bunch of armored thugs are going to noisily assault each other with
furniture. There may be some swag on display that would bring a good price
on a seedy Dutch pier. Yes, some deserving people are going to get the
Sable Doodad. But think of the overlong court... all those officers- and
that one guy who won't stop talking... The Crown will try to spice it up
some- but really, aren't Kings usually best at the aforementioned thuggery
rather than entertainment? And Queens usually are so swamped by clingy,
lace-drenched dons that you'll never see or hear Her outside a few teary
but genuine post-thuggery comments. (who's watching our coasts while these
dandy duelists clog up the court, by the way?)
What you need is some smut... historical, well-documented, filthy, FUNNY,
smut.
And brother, do I ever have it.
We're putting on five short pieces that can be performed together or
severally based on a few lewd tales from Chaucer and Boccacio. They are not
for young eyes... there are scenes in them that would make a Borgia pope
blush and run. Nuns. Monks. Cuckolding. Comedy breasts. Barbary Virgins.
This is the really low brow stuff... humor even people above the Red River
can get after a case of 3.2.
If you, or any subversive constituency out there would like a visit from
the Baron's Men and have a venue that might be a good fit (literally or
figuratively) please let me know. Each piece is short- none longer than 10
minutes- and they range from Simple Violence and Marital Commentary all the
way up to Outright Blasphemic Proto-Porn complete with Puppet Nudity.
Request as many as you like and we'll do the deed on your stage. The only
recompense we ask is that you advertise our appearance, give us the
opportunity to busk for cash while the audience is still stunned, and let
us hawk our NC-17 trinketry and souvenirs to the morally bereft in your
group. Everybody loves a "Nuns Have More Fun" pilgrim badge.
No churches, please... we have no interest in being burned at the stake or
struck by lightning.
Hanse Kleermaker
Director of The Bawdy Five and Rescinded Baron of Ravensfort
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