[Ansteorra] making special times for people

[willowdewisp at juno.com]

I will not go into the many many things that have kept me in the SCA. 
You know I love persona but I have not been able to express what persona on a really basic level makes me happy in the Society. 
The first step in bringing your persona out of yourself and into the world where people can see it is doing the courtesies. For example behavior around Kings and Queens and behaving around people of similar rank to you and those under you. 
To me coming from the last of the Old South that meant following the Rules of Courtesy. My Mother told me that, "A Lady is judge by how she treats people who serve her." You might forget to say thank you or Please to your husband but never the waiter. Also It was implied that a Lady or Gentleman would have a pleasant or encouraging word to say to everyone. 
When, a long time ago, I was asked for the first time how a Lady or Lord should act in the SCA or in period I quoted the spirit behind those words. As a politician and mood organizer this work out very well. This kind of behavior produce a special warm glow in the kingdom. 
As the world changed those value were lost in the urban rush. Time is at a premium and people are taught not to take up others time. All that interchange is just  a waste of time. What we are taught in our everyday life will leak into our SCA life.
I would like you to try some things for me. 
First the next time you are at an SCA function go out of your way to talk to everyone in a polite manner. In the middle ages that would mean you go up and speak to the ruling nobles. 
Then go out of your way to speak nicely and with their titles if that feels right. Talk to the peers and go out of your way to talk to people you don't know who they are. Introduce yourself and say something pleasant. See if you can impart some useful info. 
For example, Tell them about the next event or the newsletter or how to get on the list. Many people in the modern world are starved for human contact. You don't know how good it feels to get information from a person. If someone looks lost interact with them. 
One of the duties of a Lord or Lady is to help the group grow. The hospitaler is only the tip of the ice berg. We the members of every group is the real reason people like,love, the SCA. Another duty of AOAs and increasing effort as we climb the awards ladder is to model idea medieval behavior. Politeness and Courtesies are the oil that keeps us from rubbing each other. It is a good behavior to show our new members. 
The last thing I would like each of you to is the following:
Make an effort to say something nice about something you see at each event.
Do not give empty praise. People can feel that and it will promote improper behavior. IN sincere praises make people spin off in wrong directions. If you see something "nice" tell the people involved that it is "Nice!". or "Lovely". or "The colors are smoothing" You can really like something or part of something even if it is not "Great". Do not good into a two hour dissection of the piece or thing or behavior. Even if you are trying to be "helpful" this is too much. I know because I fall into that trap a lot. Just be nice and go on. 
Now I would like each one of you to make or buy three little tokens and give one to an Artist that you like a "service" people that make something special or worked very hard and a Fighter or a member of any of the "marshal Arts" who does a "feat". That means someone who does somethings that is better than what they did before. 
Don't be  "rank" bias. If the Queen does something or a Peer does a special effort give them personal word fame. Don't announce it a public situation but just talk to person using their titles and give them your token. If the person is an AOA please use their title or some honorific. That makes people happy. 
Do these things and see if makes any difference.
Seeing that kind of behavior makes me Happy and keeps me in the SCA.
Duchess Willow de Wisp
PS. I am making very early rings to give out. Right now they are pretty bad but I made them and they show a BC level of metal work. I don't have the tools. 
I love you all 
 Grandmother Ansteorra
 

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