[Ansteorra] INFAMOUS OUTLAW ESCAPES!

[HerrDetlef]

Isn't Hanse German? If he is, rough treatment will tickle him. That might
actually be what he's after.

We Germans are a sordid lot when it comes to pain.

Detlef

On Sun, Jan 23, 2011 at 6:25 PM, Sir Lyonel <sirlyonel at hotmail.com> wrote:

> Salut cozyns,
>
> As much pleasure as everyone would no doubt obtain from removing pieces of
> flesh from Hanse, I suppose we really must remember that the creature has
> been recognized by the Crown as useful in the making and repair of garments
> or hats or somesuch. So, as we would not wish to deprive Their Majesties of
> even the least of their crafts people, we must observe some degree of
> restraint. To wit: Hanse's fingers must remain INTACT and UNBROKEN, and he
> will need at least the use of his best eye. Likewise, he'll need teeth on at
> least one side of his mouth for biting threads. He'll probably need to be
> able to sit straight, so leave his spine intact and don't brand his
> buttocks. I can't for the life of me think of a good reason to preserve his
> ears, nose, ribs, legs, or any part responsible for reproduction, so let's
> not start saying "Lyonel said we can't break any bones."
>
> Be careful out there; torture responsibly.
>
> En Lyonel
>
> Sent from my iPhone
>
>
> On Jan 23, 2011, at 2:38 PM, "Sher M" <runa.herd at earthlink.net> wrote:
>
> To All Interested Parties:
>>
>> It has been determined by grease marks that Hanse seduced one of the
>> younger nuns.  The convent would like to add their pleas for swift justice
>> of Hanse of the Slimy Hands.  The hounds are making excellent headway in
>> tracking him as the scent in the greasy hands lingers where ever he has
>> touched something.  Numerous reports of strange thefts of cold greasy
>> sausage is helping to locate the areas he has run through.  It appears that
>> he may be afoot as every stolen horse has been recovered.  The owners of
>> these horses are willing to add to the rewards as it is also difficult to
>> get grease out of fur.  As every horseman/woman is aware, a greasy horse can
>> not be saddled properly and as the saddle slips around they are tired of
>> biting the dirt.
>>
>> To Baron Bors:  In your capacity as Constable of the Loch, I'm sure we can
>> work out suitable recompense for the return of Hanse should you find in in
>> your lands.
>>
>> To Sir Lyonel:  Your assistance in his capture will allow you to have him
>> after Raven's Fort has inflicted their punishment.  At that time you can
>> take your 18000 pounds of francs in whatever manner you see fit.  (inks a
>> note to self to watch Lyonel as it appears he may be slightly shifty as his
>> main concerns is the francs he was not paid.  Perhaps he let Hanse know
>> which nun was addicted to sausage grease)
>>
>> To Lady Gabriele:  The reward is for his capture and return to Raven's
>> Fort. We strongly suggest that persons interested in attempting to lay hands
>> on him coat themselves with a thick covering of Lyst Field Mud.  This will
>> allow the grease to just be chipped off the body of the captor.  We prefer
>> him to be in one piece and capable of being punished properly at Raven's
>> Fort.  A few nicks and dings are acceptable.
>>
>> To Stefan:  Are you volunteering to attempt to capture Hanse?  The True
>> (Norman) Baron of Raven's Fort is highly grieved that you have berated his
>> Captain and Lieutenant of the Guard.  (Takes quill to another piece of
>> parchment and notes, Stefan may be willing to hide Hanse-place messengers
>> where they are able to watch who comes and goes, especially in the deep of
>> the night)
>>
>> To Baroness Daria:  We have numerous wise women of ancient age that are
>> willing to check Hanse for wounds.  I believe the youngest is 87 years old
>> and has seen 9 husbands into the grave.
>>
>> To Michael Fenwick:  Define rough.
>>
>>
>> Lady Runa of The Thundering Herd
>> Knight Marshal of the Barony of Raven's Fort
>> Lieutenant of the Baronial Guard
>> www.bedlambazaar.com
>> http://thethunderingherd.net
>>
>>
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