[Ansteorra] INFAMOUS OUTLAW ESCAPES!

[Sir Lyonel]

Salut cozyns,

As much pleasure as everyone would no doubt obtain from removing  
pieces of flesh from Hanse, I suppose we really must remember that the  
creature has been recognized by the Crown as useful in the making and  
repair of garments or hats or somesuch. So, as we would not wish to  
deprive Their Majesties of even the least of their crafts people, we  
must observe some degree of restraint. To wit: Hanse's fingers must  
remain INTACT and UNBROKEN, and he will need at least the use of his  
best eye. Likewise, he'll need teeth on at least one side of his mouth  
for biting threads. He'll probably need to be able to sit straight, so  
leave his spine intact and don't brand his buttocks. I can't for the  
life of me think of a good reason to preserve his ears, nose, ribs,  
legs, or any part responsible for reproduction, so let's not start  
saying "Lyonel said we can't break any bones."

Be careful out there; torture responsibly.

En Lyonel

Sent from my iPhone

On Jan 23, 2011, at 2:38 PM, "Sher M" <runa.herd at earthlink.net> wrote:

> To All Interested Parties:
>
> It has been determined by grease marks that Hanse seduced one of the  
> younger nuns.  The convent would like to add their pleas for swift  
> justice of Hanse of the Slimy Hands.  The hounds are making  
> excellent headway in tracking him as the scent in the greasy hands  
> lingers where ever he has touched something.  Numerous reports of  
> strange thefts of cold greasy sausage is helping to locate the areas  
> he has run through.  It appears that he may be afoot as every stolen  
> horse has been recovered.  The owners of these horses are willing to  
> add to the rewards as it is also difficult to get grease out of  
> fur.  As every horseman/woman is aware, a greasy horse can not be  
> saddled properly and as the saddle slips around they are tired of  
> biting the dirt.
>
> To Baron Bors:  In your capacity as Constable of the Loch, I'm sure  
> we can work out suitable recompense for the return of Hanse should  
> you find in in your lands.
>
> To Sir Lyonel:  Your assistance in his capture will allow you to  
> have him after Raven's Fort has inflicted their punishment.  At that  
> time you can take your 18000 pounds of francs in whatever manner you  
> see fit.  (inks a note to self to watch Lyonel as it appears he may  
> be slightly shifty as his main concerns is the francs he was not  
> paid.  Perhaps he let Hanse know which nun was addicted to sausage  
> grease)
>
> To Lady Gabriele:  The reward is for his capture and return to  
> Raven's Fort. We strongly suggest that persons interested in  
> attempting to lay hands on him coat themselves with a thick covering  
> of Lyst Field Mud.  This will allow the grease to just be chipped  
> off the body of the captor.  We prefer him to be in one piece and  
> capable of being punished properly at Raven's Fort.  A few nicks and  
> dings are acceptable.
>
> To Stefan:  Are you volunteering to attempt to capture Hanse?  The  
> True (Norman) Baron of Raven's Fort is highly grieved that you have  
> berated his Captain and Lieutenant of the Guard.  (Takes quill to  
> another piece of parchment and notes, Stefan may be willing to hide  
> Hanse-place messengers where they are able to watch who comes and  
> goes, especially in the deep of the night)
>
> To Baroness Daria:  We have numerous wise women of ancient age that  
> are willing to check Hanse for wounds.  I believe the youngest is 87  
> years old and has seen 9 husbands into the grave.
>
> To Michael Fenwick:  Define rough.
>
>
> Lady Runa of The Thundering Herd
> Knight Marshal of the Barony of Raven's Fort
> Lieutenant of the Baronial Guard
> www.bedlambazaar.com
> http://thethunderingherd.net
>
>
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