[Ansteorra] Imperium Compound
Pukhta 'Pooky' Lovtsevich
pookyloves at gmail.com
Thu Sep 15 00:18:51 PDT 2011
I feign blamelessness, for the messenger but shares the words.
(To " Lydia Pinckham's Medicinal Coumpound")
Here's a story, a little bit gory,
A little bit happy, a little bit sa-a-ad,
About a drink called Imperiun Compound
And how the SCA's been had.
CHORUS: Oh, we think, we think, we think,
The king is a fink, a fink, a fink,
A figure of respectability!
(He) rules the Kingdom with Imperium Compound!
The results are plain to see!
Words with Andy, you never should bandy.
He is strong enough to kill a moose.
Drinks copious Imperium Compound--
But he can't take jungle juice (or koumiss)!
Then there's Duke Andy, who never was handy,
And at fighting he was only fair,
"Till he tasted Imperium Compound,
Now he's claws, teeth and hair!
Anton Thoth Rdlkh, at drinking was no puke:
He has never ever reached his peak;
He was given Imperium Compound,
And pronounced it too damn weak!
Now, Robert Asprin pulled many a fast one
On the Kingdom and their ki-i-ings.
But they're all drinking Imperium Compound
Now they can stand the songs he sings!
There was Astra, no one ever said asked-her
And she was all for having fun.
Then she sampled Imperium Compound
And today she is a nun - not better.
Azarael, melodius fella,
Composes ballads sweet and terse.
Inspired by Imperium Compound
He gets verse and verse and verse (and verse)!
Now Berenger, he was very wary,
And the fighters learned his blade to fear.
Dipped his blade in Imperium Compound.
And we were stuck with him all year.
The Board of Directors, styled themselves "Electors",
And another con they tried to swing;
Now the BOD drinks Imperium Ccmpound,
And we no longer need a king.
CHORUS: The Bod, the Bod, the Bod,
It thinks it's God, It's God, It's God,
The figure of supreme authority,
And if we'd 0.D. on Imperium Compound
There'd be no need for royalty!
Then there's Dagan. His brother was Kaghan.
Which is quite funny in a king.
If he gets hooked on Imperium Compound.
There'll be new songs to sing. (Or will there?)
Now Fiona, she pulled quite a bonah,
Left the meeting feeling really bored.
Then they passed 'round the Imperium Compound,
And she was Kaghan of the Horde!
There was Al Frank, the son of an old Frank,
But a brilliant troubadour in song,
Dipped his beard in Imperium Compound
And how he's prematurely bald (and married!)
Haakon Red Beard, we thought it a bit wierd.
We thought Vikings all were six feet four.
Dipped his beard in Imperium Compound
And he shrank right through the floor (Still singing)
There's Igor. His Prowess is meager,
For he never learned to water ski.
But instead he drinks Imperiun Compound
Then he howls and climbs a tree.
Jon deCless rules as if we were all fools
And won't even try to change his way,
Once the Horde drinks Inperium Compound
The Board will be de Clesse!
CHORUS: The Board, the Board, the Board,
It isn't the Horde, the Horde, the Horde,
And in its difference lies its fall from grace:
Even the Dukes found they had to use Compound
Just to kcep it in its place.
Now the Khaghan we wish that he was gone
With his Horde that never seems to leave
He never touches Imperium Compound
We wonder what is up his sleeve.
CHORUS: We think, we think, we think,
The Kahn is a fink, a fink, a fink,
A figure of incredibility;
Rules the Khanate with Genghis Compound,
With results you never see!
Now there's Laurelen, about whom there's much quarrelin'
His persona's from the (deleted) Mist.
Except when drinking Imperium Compound,
We all know (deleted) don't exist. (Or do they?)
Laurelen Darksbane, millenial Elf-thane,
Sought for only love and peace;
Took a drink of Imperium Compound-
Now you'll find him in the trees!
Merowald - he's the bane of a scald. He
Has no attributes of which to speak
Polite and fonnal. Incredibly normal.
Are yuu sure that man's a king? (Sproing, sproing, sproing)
Mongol Hordesnen, those free-living swordsmen,
Subverting the Kingdoms from underneath,
Have no use for Imperiun Compound--
except to brush their teeth!
Then there's Nathan, with his shiny white hat on -
Used to breathing where the air is thin.
Took a drink of Imperiun Compound
And even then he would not sin!
There was Roloc. Some thought him a Polac.
But he was a Scot, you se-e-ee.
He took treaanents with Imperial Compound,
Now he's as wise as you and me (not really)!
There was Roland. He wrote with a slow hand.
But in what he writes, he does take pride.
Dipped his quill in Imperial Compound,
And took Wanda for a ride (for money!)
Siegfried the Urbane, disguises a sharp brain
Beneath a mop of flashy golden hair,
He wenches and boozes, but it's Compound he uses
when he runs out of savior faire!
Duke Siggie, a West coast biggie,
Didn't know enough for his own good,
Threw a knife at Y.T. Nauseating,
And escaped with brotherhood!
Thorbjorn, he needed a remedy,
For with ladies he took fright-
Took a drink of Imperium Compound,
Now he's horny day and night!
Then there's Tjukka - his best friend's a hooka;
He's smoked substances both strange and rare;
Took a drink of Imperium Coumpound,
Now he breathes water instead of air!
Duke Treegirtsea was known for his courtesy
And his fighting prowess was quite renowned.
He drank a thimble of Imperium Compound
And the poor Duke nearly drowned.
Now, David Wilson, he taught us a lesson
And his praises we now si-i-ing!
With the air of Imperium Compound
Any fool can be king!
Respect and Loving Gratitude,
"Love's lifelight dispels all shadows upon the path grown over with truth."
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