[Ansteorra] Child Abuse and Historical Context or Change is Hard

[Deborah May]

Greetings,

Well, I have watched for a while the threads about child abuse and the way that 
it has impacted our organization.  I'm going to take off my SCA hat(s) and speak 
as Dr. May the psychologist who has spent the past twenty-five years in the 
field.

Anti-child abuse and child abuse reporting laws weren't on the books in this 
country until the mid-50's.  They had to use the cruelty to animals statutes to 
create these laws and they dealt mostly with physical abuse and neglect.  Until 
that time you got in more trouble for beating your horse than your wife or 
child!  No one wanted to talk about or address the problem of child sexual abuse 
until the Women's Movement got stronger--roughly the late '70's.  Sad, but 
true.  Our national conversation about what constitutes child abuse and the best 
way to address it is still evolving and I seriously doubt that we're done 
figuring it all out.  That said, for many of us older folks, the fact that we're 
even *talking* about the topic is still amazing.  For many younger folks, you've 
grown up with and been educated about child abuse since you entered school or 
childcare.  There are going to be some generational differences when having this 
conversation.

Many numbers are flung about, but the best guess is approximately one in five 
women and one in eight to ten men will have been sexually abused/assaulted at 
some point in his/her life.  When we express strong feelings about the victims 
and their families, please bear in mind that, statistically speaking, you are 
addressing a number of adult survivors of some form of sexual trauma.  Blaming 
the victim and/or the victim's families is probably not helpful.  Most parents 
don't take their child to school, church or childcare (or the family reunion, or 
the grandparents' farm) wanting their kids to be sexually abused.  I seriously 
doubt participants in the SCA are any different.  Last statistics that I had 
regarding false reports of child sexual abuse put it in the same category as 
falsely reported murders.  Yes, everyone out there can come up with an anecdotal 
incident where Joe and Jane were divorcing and used cross allegations against 
one another.  I can tell you from the front lines that it happens, but it is not 
the norm.  


The perpetrators of child sexual abuse, unlike the way it can be portrayed in 
the media, do not look evil.  There are no horns or tails.  They are more likely 
to be related to or know the victim or the victim's family, more likely to be 
considered a great, helpful, and yes even Good Christian person than they are to 
be a sadistic S.O.B. lurking behind bushes waiting to hurt or even kill the 
child (only approximately 1-3 in a hundred).  Perpetrators are creatures of 
opportunity who put themselves in positions of trust that are likely to allow 
them unfettered access to children.  Many of their victims are terribly 
emotionally conflicted because they thought the perpetrator loved them and cared 
for them--remember, the perp wants continued access to the child and does what 
he/she can to keep them close and available (yes, there are female perpetrators, 
but they're only about 8% of reported cases and some of those cases involved a 
male as well).  When asked to respond to a survey which would have absolutely 
*no* impact on their sentences because they were lifers and never going to get 
out anyway, 40 convicted child sexual abuse felons were able to come up with 
approximately 25,000 incidents with children.  I find that number staggering.

Sadly, litigation is often the only way to get individuals and institutions 
(yeah, I hear corporations are people now, too) to change their behavior.  Until 
the past 15-20 years mandatory screening of teachers, childcare workers and 
others in a position to have direct access to children were not the norm.  
Litigation changed all that.  It is worth noting, however, that those background 
checks go only so far.  If a person has been molesting children for years but 
has never been arrested and convicted, nothing will show up on a standard 
background check.  I am not directly aware of the depth of the background checks 
we use in the SCA, but I would be surprised if we were given access to the Child 
Welfare (DHS/DFS) histories of all our players.  There are levels and degrees of 
checking, but again, if they haven't been caught (and most are not) there will 
be no red flag.  Some institutions (schools, childcare), *depending on their 
jurisdiction/state* are required by law to perform those background checks.  The 
rest end up doing so because of liability insurance and situations just like 
this.  Unlike Law & Order or CSI, the long,  drawn-out grind that is true, 
real-world litigation takes...about as long as this has taken.  Actually, I'm 
impressed that the criminal part didn't drag out this long.  Often it does, 
usually to the benefit of the defendant.  (Big difference when the victim who 
was a cherubic 8 y/o at the time of the alleged incident is an angry, Goth teen 
by the time it goes to trial...sigh).

I am part of the Garfield County Child Advocacy Council's Child Abuse Reporting 
Education Team.  One of the times that I feel really, really proud to be an 
Oklahoman is when I can tell the folks to whom we are speaking that Oklahoma is 
one of the few states with a mandatory child abuse reporting law that covers 
everyone!  Not just doctors, counselors, teachers and childcare workers, but 
anyone who has reason to suspect abuse is required by law to so do.  It is a 
misdemeanor if you *suspect* and don't report to DHS or law enforcement.  (For 
those who followed the tragic events at Penn State, no, Pennsylvania does not 
have a child abuse reporting law.)  I have to say, though, that every time we 
(physician, DHS worker, psych, police detective, advocacy center director) 
present to a group someone inevitably says, "But, don't you think that it is so 
much worse now?  Don't you think people are treating kids worse now than in the 
past?"  Our answer across every aspect of the Child Welfare field is a 
resounding, "No!"  


Yes, there are more reports than in the past.  But remember we didn't even have 
laws *against* child abuse in some of our lifetimes!  More reports mean its 
harder for the perpetrators.  Yes, we talk about it more.  But child abuse is 
often a terrible secret that a child and possibly his/her family endures.  The 
social stigma associated with being a victim is still large and has a big impact 
on the child and his or her family.  The fact that we are actually able to 
discuss it on the television, in the classrooms, on the lists, etc. gives 
strength to the victims and can be the catalyst for them to tell and get help.  
Oh, and not just for themselves--remember the 25,000?  We want to get these guys 
off the street.

The few thousand dollars received by each family in the aftermath of this 
tragedy hardly compensates them for all they have--and likely will--go though.  
The loss of trust in others is one of the worst parts of being a surviving 
family.  What that settlement has done, though, is caused the SCA as a 
family-oriented 501-C (3) educational organization to bring our policies and 
procedures in line with the world as it is and as we wish it would be.  It has 
also sparked a conversation--hopefully educational and mutually 
supportive--about what it means to be a member of the SCA, how best to care for 
one another and our children as we pursue The Dream.   


As a society, we in the United States in this time and in this place do  better 
by our children than at any other time or place in human  history.   As a 
Society, we in the SCA strive to do better as well. I have great hope for our 
future as a nation and as a world.  We in the Society bring the Ideals of 
Chivalry to a world that is in sore need of them. 


I'm thinking protecting the kiddos is part of that Dream.

Bright Blessings,

Dr. Deborah C. May                      or             Mistress Ceridwen Tir 
Gwstraff of Wizard's Keep
Licensed Psychologist                                  Baroness, Pelican, and 
Notorious Stirrer of Pots 

Enid, OK                                                         Crown Lands 
formerly the Wastelands of Ansteorra