[Ansteorra] Behold! The BODINATOR!

[Chelsea Durham]

*gigglesnort* Agent Pug... Pug needs a fedora! And when he walks around he gets the "doob ba doob ba doo op" theme music. 

I've watched entirely too much Phineas and Ferb. 

-Gra-- er Chrestien 

Sent from my iPhone

On Jul 22, 2012, at 12:08 PM, "Tim McDaniel" <tmcd at panix.com> wrote:

> (If you haven't watched the awesome _Phineas and Ferb_,
> you won't get the running gags.  Sorry.)
> 
>> But I don't believe this conversation is helping anyone.
> 
> [jaunty jingle]   o/~  Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated  o/~
> 
> [fx: crashing sound of a pelican crashing through the wall]
> [fx: dramatic secret-agenty chords]
> [fx: plank cage snapping shut]
> [All dialog is Doofenshmirtz except as indicated]
> 
> Well, Pug the Pelican!  How feudal!  And by "feudal", I mean "futile".
> I mean really, who comes up with these things?  Who can keep them
> straight?  I tried a mnemonic, but all I got was "'Feudal' means
> baron, 'futile' means barren", and that's no help at all!
> 
> Anyhooo.  You're just in time to see my latest eeevil inator.
> Behold!  The BODINATOR!
> 
> When I press this leettle button right here, it will fire a ray at
> Milpitas to make them survey the populace on same-sex crowns.  The
> lists will explode with dissention, chaos, and civil war, and in the
> confusion I will swoop in and take over the Entire! Tri! Realm! AREA!
> 
> I'm ... I'm not sure of the final step, just how I'll take over.
> But chaos?  Oh, yeah, baby!  I'm BRINGIN' it!  [Presses button.
> ZAP into the distance.  Pause.]
> 
> [laptop on table:] You have mail.
> 
> [The laptop falls off the table in slow motion and explodes in
> mid-air.  The network cable burns like a fuze to the router, which
> explodes.  Its cable burns fast out of sight.]
> 
> Ha ha ha!  [singsong] It's happening!
> [normal] Now I just have to plot my takeover.
> 
> [voiceover] Four days later.
> 
> [Pug, still in the cage, is re-reading _Game of Thrones_]
> 
> I got nothin'.  Aaaaand we're done.  [sighs.  Sad music.]
> 
> For once, you didn't thwart me.  My inator worked perfectly.
> I just couldn't close the deal.
> 
> [He presses a button to open the trap] Here, Pug, let me save you the
> trouble.  [He presses the Self Destruct button.  BOOM.  Scorched face,
> hair, and lab coat]
> 
> Tomorrow, I'm taking a "me" day and I'll catch up on my stories.
> Promise.  You don't have to come thwart me.  You've built up a lot of
> overtime with this, so --
> 
> [Pug looks stricken] What, secret agents are exempt employees?
> At least tell me they give you comp time.  [Pug looks down sadly]
> 
> Wow.  And they say I'M evil.
> 
> OK.  I'll leave the door unlocked.  Drop by whenever you want, we'll
> blow up an old inator on the roof, five minutes and you make quota.
> Are we good? ...  We're good.
> 
> [voiceover] The next day.
> 
> [Pug and Doofenshmirtz are sitting on a couch watching TV.  Between
> them is a bucket of popcorn and a box of tissues.]
> 
> [Juan:] La razon porque te amo ... La razon porque te amo es ... es ...
> 
> 
> Daniel Doofenshmirtz
> -- 
> Tim McDaniel, tmcd at panix.com
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