[Ansteorra] on leaving the SCA--

Tue Feb 5 17:00:05 PST 2013

greetings

ok, having read all these posts , I believe that there is an ongoing 
communication issue .
as has been pointed out in the past , this is the modern internet, not face 
to face communication .
a lot of things , don't translate to this electronic media well. such as 
tonal inflection, facial expressions, body language, etc.

while lady ismet used the " soup Nazi " term as an example , to illustrate 
her point, she did not say she wanted to run around calling her friends 
Nazi's.
back before pc patrol members and even email lists were around , I had a 
friend who's security guard uniform made him look like a Nazi officer. when 
ever people would call him a Nazi , he would snap to attention , slap his 
heels together , do the stiff arm salute, and say  " BIG SMILE " to which 
people would either crack up laughing , or walk away disgusted , but they 
stopped attacking him verbally...
he was in no way saying the Nazi's were something to look up to, but was in 
fact trying to improve a bad situation.

in turn , your posts lady astridr , when read can come across as verbal 
attacks ,( even though you probably didn't intend that at all, emotion can 
hinder online communication ( in both directions ) in many ways ) because 
someone mentioned a word you loath .
even the way you speak of the  " period Nazi " in your last post comes 
across as an attack.

" Because that's what is going on when you call someone a "period Nazi", 
you're trying to make them feel bad about the thing that brings them joy."

I don't think you were trying to say that its not ok to call someone a 
period Nazi when they are pouncing on nubies, ( or even old time members ) 
,talking down to those they have chosen to attack , because those people are 
enjoying attacking and belittling someone that probably doesn't know that 
everyone isn't going to treat them like that , and by calling them a Nazi, 
they might have " their " feelings hurt .
(which makes it sound like its not ok to call a bully a name because it 
might hurt their feelings. )
but that's how it can read .besides would calling them American cavalry be 
any better ?? how many thousands of women and children did they kill to make 
way for more white settlers ? and there are many other groups and 
governments that have acted just as badly.

in the old days ( early 80's ) it didn't matter that in the real world we 
were losers, geeks, dreamers,etc. because when we went to an event , or a 
revel, or a practice , we weren't Joe geek, Moe loser,  or Denise dreamer , 
we were " lord " or " lady " somebody , from someplace far off , and we were 
honorable, and chivalrous , and we tried to act accordingly in our home made 
t-tunic and jeans , and our carpet armor with Freon can helm and shopping 
cart face grills.
we bowed to the ladies, we bowed to anyone with a crown ( ok so some of them 
were undoubtedly coronets , but to us they were crowns, and thus to be 
respected. )
but many times it seems that as we have tried to become more " period" we 
may have become in some ways " TOO PERIOD " we now have all the back 
stabbing ,political maneuvering , and caste systems of much of the middle 
ages ... the only things missing are the hereditary royals, and poisoning 
the nobles , so some other " noble " could take his place : (  , at least 
the " knights " aren't " taking their pleasure " with every milk maid they 
come across , or robbing the peasants  ( thank you good sir knights   : )

we used to go to events to relax , and enter a fantasy world , brought to 
life by everyone there ,( anyone remember wolfstar blowing horns all night 
on one end of the site, and rolling thunder playing drums all night on the 
other end of site ?? , or how about wandering from camp to camp listening to 
many different bards sing songs, or tell tales by the camp fire ?? or even 
watching the children ( and some adults, if I recall namron or was it 
weisenfeuer ? had a very potent maypole =) dancing the may pole  ?? ) but 
now dancing the maypole is considered npc ( not politically correct ) since 
it is a " fertility " dance and anyone under 21 shouldn't be near it, 
because we could be held liable and sued ) , now it seems that we go to 
events, to climb some ladder, or work, or complain that someone else isn't 
playing the way we like... but you don't hear people talking about how much 
fun some event was , you hear about somebody suing , or some lawsuit, or 
ways to avoid the possibility of either.  so we seem to have traded in fun 
for fear : (

anyway , I hope I haven't added to the confusion, and communication 
problems, or offended anyone.
this is after all just my opinion , which is just as common ( or valuable ) 
as anyone else's, and I hope that it does provoke thought without provoking 
anger : )

Be Safe , Be Happy, Have Fun .
Arthur

----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Bree Flowers" <evethejust at gmail.com>
To: "Kingdom of Ansteorra - SCA, Inc." <ansteorra at lists.ansteorra.org>
Sent: Tuesday, February 05, 2013 5:35 PM
Subject: Re: [Ansteorra] on leaving the SCA--

> Okay, clearly I am being misunderstood. I really don't get it. I don't
> understand how one person saying "I should be freely able to apply
> this horrible moniker to my friends" and someone else saying "because
> it's both out-of-period and hurtful" is a bad thing. I didn't say that
> anything else in their message was wrong. Feel free to embrace the
> rest of it and enjoy.
>
> When someone says "not being allowed to use this hurtful term in jest
> is spoiling my fun", I'm put in mind of the popular kids in school who
> would have said that calling many of us "geeks and losers" (and worse
> things I'm sure) was just them having fun. If what you are doing is
> hurtful to someone else, and if fun can be had without it, then I
> don't get why anyone would defend it as "okay". It's not "political
> correctness" to say that the term is inappropriate. If you want to
> compare it to any modern movement it's more like anti-bullying.
> Because that's what is going on when you call someone a "period nazi",
> you're trying to make them feel bad about the thing that brings them
> joy.
>
> We don't call our friends whores, despots or murderers, so why do we
> call any of them nazis? I mean unless they actually were members of
> that political movement and participated in the mass genocides, in
> which case have at it.
>
> ~Astridr
>
> On Tue, Feb 5, 2013 at 5:12 PM, Sir Chiang <chiang at clearwire.net> wrote:
>> I would say that sounds a bit harsh, and overly sarcastic. Maybe it was 
>> not
>> meant that way but it sure reads like that.
>>  I know that stuff like what you have written has made me question why I 
>> put
>> so much into this game. I too mourn the lose of so many people that I 
>> looked
>> up to and set the examples for me to follow.
>>  Lately I have been asking myself why I keep at it, best answer I can 
>> give
>> myself is that I have put too much investment in it and made some 
>> promises
>> that have yet to be fulfilled. When are accomplished, I will probably
>> rethink a lot too.
>> Your humble servant,
>> Sir Chiang
>>
>> ----- Original Message ----- From: "Bree Flowers" <evethejust at gmail.com>
>>
>> To: "Kingdom of Ansteorra - SCA, Inc." <ansteorra at lists.ansteorra.org>
>> Sent: Tuesday, February 05, 2013 5:00 PM
>>
>> Subject: Re: [Ansteorra] on leaving the SCA--
>>
>>
>>> Wow, really? Someone saying their feelings were hurt and that the
>>> dream was tarnished was inspirational but someone else suggesting that
>>> we treat our friends with respect and kindness and that being "period"
>>> isn't a daunting task, and doesn't require hours of research but
>>> simply a little bit of effort in the moment saps your will to
>>> participate? Interesting.
>>>
>>> ~Astridr
>>
>>
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