[Ansteorra] on leaving the SCA--

[Bree Flowers]

I think we may have some "not seeing the forest for the trees" going
both ways here.

Your wife's point is that correcting/criticizing/pouncing on people
for making a mis-step drives them away.

My point is that allowing people to use hurtful words without
correcting them (regardless of intent, the words can still be hurtful)
may drive away a whole different set of people.

~Astridr

On Tue, Feb 5, 2013 at 7:00 PM, Hugh & Belinda Niewoehner
<BurgBorrendohl at valornet.com> wrote:
> No.   You are misunderstanding the discussion.    The comment was that
> someone expressing their opinion can draw instant, unthinking, knee jerk
> attacks.  And then you did exactly that.   The exact word chosen doesn't
> matter. Where is "treating our friends with respect" found in that?
>
> No where in my wife's message did she say that she ever called anyone that
> or has 'fun' calling people any names.  RTFM - Read the full message.  Reply
> to the content not one specific word. Someone else used the term,
> 'innocently' and was treated much like my wife has just been by you.  If
> someone offends you don't jump down their throat.  That indicates you "don't
> get it".    Ask instead, "What did you mean by that?"  From there civilized
> discussion starts.
>
> And thank you to both Miles and Sir Chang.   You...GET IT. Personal attacks
> made in public, for any reason, drive people away.
>
> Now, hopefully back to the actual topic of the discussion.
>
> With regards,
>
> Damon Hroarson, Baron Borrendohl
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> On 2/5/2013 5:35 PM, Bree Flowers wrote:
>>
>> Okay, clearly I am being misunderstood. I really don't get it. I don't
>> understand how one person saying "I should be freely able to apply
>> this horrible moniker to my friends" and someone else saying "because
>> it's both out-of-period and hurtful" is a bad thing. I didn't say that
>> anything else in their message was wrong. Feel free to embrace the
>> rest of it and enjoy.
>>
>> When someone says "not being allowed to use this hurtful term in jest
>> is spoiling my fun", I'm put in mind of the popular kids in school who
>> would have said that calling many of us "geeks and losers" (and worse
>> things I'm sure) was just them having fun. If what you are doing is
>> hurtful to someone else, and if fun can be had without it, then I
>> don't get why anyone would defend it as "okay". It's not "political
>> correctness" to say that the term is inappropriate. If you want to
>> compare it to any modern movement it's more like anti-bullying.
>> Because that's what is going on when you call someone a "period nazi",
>> you're trying to make them feel bad about the thing that brings them
>> joy.
>>
>> We don't call our friends whores, despots or murderers, so why do we
>> call any of them nazis? I mean unless they actually were members of
>> that political movement and participated in the mass genocides, in
>> which case have at it.
>>
>> ~Astridr
>>
>
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