[Ansteorra] on leaving the SCA--
Hugh & Belinda Niewoehner
BurgBorrendohl at valornet.com
Tue Feb 5 12:08:23 PST 2013
Our reasons.
>
>
> We attended our first local event in quite a while two weeks ago. We
> have drifted from the Society the past almost five years and in, all
> honestly, will probably never be as active as before. There is no
> _/one/_ reason for this and our reasons are not necessarily anyone
> else's. To be honest the main purpose for our attending this last
> event was more to introduce some 'newbies' who were curious about the
> SCA, not out of any true desire to go ourselves. And yet it was
> pleasant to see old friends and learn new things. We just probably
> would not have made the effort had we not made the obligation.
>
>
> The SCA was a very important part of our lives at one time. We met and
> were married in the SCA twenty four years ago last month. We have
> both held offices and been given recognition (usually more than we
> felt we deserved). So lack of involvement or appreciation were not
> the contributing factors to our growing disinterest. Some of the
> reasons we do share with others:
>
> 1. Lack of theater, period feeling, etc. More and more we would feel
> as others have expressed that we were at a costume party with a bunch
> of other 'good ol' boys and girls' and not at a medieval event. No
> one cared and often people would show up at Fighter's Practice,
> Populace, etc. in modern clothes and we wouldn't even have a pretense
> of trying to be period. All the other cell phone and cooler issues at
> events also take away from the feeling. And I admit I was taking
> pictures of medieval instruments last week because no one else seemed
> to be worried about covering their coke cans and such. But I should
> have cared. The SCA just seems to be a place for friends to gather
> and catch up on mundane life, which I agree can be great too. I just
> wish we could also have the atmosphere and persona play that many of
> us claim to want. Many have suggested we have 'magic encampments'.
> etc. We have tried. We set up our camp and invited all to come and
> do persona play or just tell us about themselves. We had two takers
> and they just came to learn about others because they hadn't developed
> personas yet. I was thrilled they came, but it was sad that they had
> to be bored with /our/ stories again. Even at Lilies the Enchantment
> camping ground, though looking great, was full of modern people and
> discussions. Fine, so there aren't magic moments as often as I like,
> we still found ways to have fun. I, too, miss the campfires and songs.
>
> 2. Change in attitude of local group (maybe all society). Northkeep
> used to have fun. Now everything seems to be geared toward career
> advancement. Fighters' practice is where it first appeared
> noticeable to us. There became two different fighter
> practices--Saturday at the park for the general fighter types and if
> you were serious, Wednesday for the white belts in training.
> Eventually, the Saturday group diminished to no one. Things have kind
> of gravitated back to a 'general' fighting group again on Wed night,
> but for a while there was even some contention among the fighters as
> several expressed unhappiness at the distractions brought by non
> serious fighters and attending populace. Fighting is definitely not
> the only area where career advancement is given high priority. Many
> times I have heard people complain they have to journey to the far
> reaches of the Kingdom to an event they do not want to attend, because
> a Peer has told them they 'need' to be there. How fun is that?
> Again, there is nothing wrong with any of this, it's just not what we
> want out of our experience. Doing something for the joy of doing it,
> not because it will get us some title is fun! I remember feeling
> sorry when I was talking to a relatively new person who was lamenting
> she had no talent and was never going to be anyone. "I need to find
> something I'm good at, so I can become a Laurel," she told me. Why?
> Because everyone at that time seemed to be doing that. The air seemed
> to be thick with ambition and competiveness (individually and between
> groups)--and the politics that these bring. No one just wanted to
> have fun anymore. But the shift in attitude has paid off. We now
> boast several Knights, Laurels and Pelicans. I'm happy for them. And
> the brass can be blinding at our events. But I miss the relaxed
> atmosphere and fun of the Shire.
> t
> 3. Hurt feelings. I am truly sorrowed at the stories of people who
> have been hurt by unkind actions or words and have left or are leaving
> the SCA because of it. Our 'hurt' was sort of our 'own fault' and I
> warn anyone with sensitive feelings to think long and hard before
> considering what we did. We thought we were tough and could handle
> anything. We were wrong. At the encouragement of others, we were crazy
> enough to think we could serve our Barony as Coronets. We were warned
> that things would happen in the process to hurt our feelings, and, of
> course, they did. Feelings of betrayal, finding ouyou have enemies
> you didn't realize you had, etc. take a toll on anyone. Yes, we were
> truly hurt by some things that were said and done, but it is _not_ the
> reason we have drifted away. The main reason we don't participate as
> much anymore and probably the most likely reason most people leave is
> point number 4. The other points, however, contribute to our never
> seriously making the effort to get involved again.
>
> 4. Mundane obligations and/or gas prices. With the economy such that
> many have started new jobs with little or no vacation time, it is
> difficult to attend non local events. Some may be working unusual
> shifts, leaving no evenings or weekends free for local activities and
> events. Many have had their incomes drastically reduced. Others are
> spending all their time in search of new employment. These are
> realities that no policy changes in the SCA can have bearing upon. As
> has been noted, many who joined as young single people now have family
> obligations--children's activities, elderly parents, etc. Many have
> their own health issues. We ceased participating when our own life
> issues became too much to deal with. Since then we have found other
> interests and /obligations /outside the SCA. Do we still care about
> people in the Society? Of course. We still monitor activities on
> lists and, in truth, see too much of the modern world invading. When
> people are attacked for suggesting a 'slave auction' as a fund raiser
> or using the word 'nazi' in a Seinfeld-esk "soup nazi" connotation, I
> just sigh. Are we truly that sensitive and ready to see evil in
> others? Does political correctness ever take a break? If I disagree
> about the 'periodness' of a certain policy change does that make me
> fair game for attack? When people make the effort to overcome Life's
> problems to be a part of us, let's make sure their experience is
> welcoming, encouraging and worth their effort. The SCA has always
> welcomed people of all sizes, races, and creeds with no judgement. As
> my husband points out:
>
> For decades the SCA was a welcoming home to those who were somewhat
> outside the societal norm. Mis-fits, geeks, whatever, people could
> find acceptance in the SCA they didn't find in the real world. Now
> that almost anything is acceptable in "normal" society they don't need
> their SCA acceptance anymore.
>
>
> We need to make sure this is still a haven where one can exchange
> ideas freely without fear of harsh critism or personal attack. Assume
> everyone has the best of intentions. Don't always be looking for an
> excuse to be hurt or offended. At the same time, always try to behave
> in a courteous manner no matter your rank. That's the least we could
> hope from a society that is supposed to be founded on the ideals of
> chivalry.
>
In that spirit, I truly hope I have not offended anyone. It was never
my intentions. And I apologize that my formatting seems to be having
issues.
Ismet--Member for around 25 years, now fringe player, at best
>
>
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