[Ansteorra] Retention, was Ideas and others

[Ld.blackmoon]

greetings

for me , I think it's because I know that as long as I'm working as an 
officer, a teacher, a marshal , etc. that people are depending on me.
and that first as an aoa, and now as a grant level I have " duties and 
responsibilities thereto appertaining " .
 I have duties and responsibilities to the kingdom, the barony , the missile 
community , the blade hurlers, the archers, and anyone that may someday want 
to try participation in any of those things.
( yes I know that I didn't list the society in that list, but,  I'm not a 
peer , I'll never be a peer , and I have never felt  that the society cared 
one nit weather I participated or not as long as they got my membership 
money : ( . )
and I really try not to let people down if I can help it...

but even more importantly , in the sca I learned that there can be pride in 
services well done, even if nobody is watching .  and I learned from a 
distant baron and baroness that serving honorably ( even when told it's ok 
to go have fun ) can make a person feel like they are important enough to be 
trusted by peers of the realm , even though at the time I was a simple aoa , 
they gave me ( their archery champion ) official duties to perform every 
time we were at the same events, some times it was as small as " please take 
this to " x " , some times it was standing behind them in courts, theirs and 
others, sometimes it was as important as escorting the baroness around the 
event site to assure her safety, and assist in any way she may need ( pull 
the wagon / herald / guard / messenger / etc. ) the point being that I 
wasn't just a cardboard cut out that they stood up behind the chairs at 
their court twice a year, they made me feel as if I was NEEDED  & USEFUL , I 
can not come close to explaining well enough, for others to understand how 
that made me feel . especially after spending most of my life dealing with 
massive depression, and feelings of worthlessness, although I had always 
tried to be of service at events , this baron and baroness made such an 
impression on me that to this day , I still search for others that can make 
me feel as good , as important, as honorable , as they did for 2 years ( 
Katrina caused an event cancellation, so I was allowed to remain in their 
service for an extra year )
. and if I am physically and financially able I will always be at their 
service for the asking  , even though they are no longer " landed " .

but the point is that I work offices, I work events, I work demo's when I 
can , etc. , not because I  believe that someday at some far off event some 
future crown may possibly someday say
" I think blackmoon may make a good peer some day if we give him another 
decade or so " . but because I " know " that somewhere , some time, if I can 
just find the right job , and do it well enough , there's a chance I can 
feel as needed, as wanted, as important as I did around these two wonderful 
people ...
if everyone could make people feel like they made me feel , no one would 
ever want to leave an event .....

anyway, I think I started drifting there, but , I guess boiled down, I'm 
trying to say , that at one event I found magic , that magic lasted for 2 
years , and then it was someone else's turn to experience that magic, to 
this day I'm still playing because I want to experience the magic again ... 
to feel as if I truly am THE HONORABLE LORD ARTHUR BLACKMOON , instead of 
tired old Robert Sloan play acting like someone might actually miss him if 
he just walked away ....

yea, I know, I'm still off saving damsels in distress , and tilting at 
windmills : /

Be Safe , Be Happy, Have Fun .
Arthur


----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Elsa" <elsavonschammach at gmail.com>
To: "Kingdom of Ansteorra - SCA, Inc." <ansteorra at lists.ansteorra.org>
Sent: Thursday, January 31, 2013 10:36 AM
Subject: [Ansteorra] Retention, was Ideas and others


> We've discussed ways that things are bad, we've talked about hard 
> decisions
> we've had to make to stay here, and we've highlighted ways that we can 
> make
> things better. I haven't seen much of a discussion on why all of us are
> still here.
> I know I'm not alone in the world for having lots of life committments,
> both inside and outside our Dream. One of the ways I juggle my priorities
> is to periodically sit back on my heels and reevaluate _why_ I'm doing 
> what
> I'm doing, here and elsewhere. At one particularly overcommitted time, I
> told myself optimistically that I could leave this "hobby" any time I
> wanted to - but of course the next thought was "except."
> -Except that I had a commission due to a friend, and the materials and
> patterns were in hand, so I didn't want to let them down (and have to 
> stare
> guiltily at the materials for years after).
> -Except that I had an obligation for an event two weeks from then, both to
> be there to meet someone for a purpose and to share a ride (read: fuel
> money, road-safe entertainment) with someone who wouldn't be able to go
> without my however-small contribution and their reciprocal obligation to
> me.
> -Except that I'd have to explain my decision to all of my friends - 
> because
> even the ones who aren't here know where my time goes.
> -Except that I owe so much to people in this time-sink (affectionately
> meant) - both internally (I've learned many of my favorite art forms here)
> and externally (my best job leads have come from friends I've found here),
> and to drop out feels disrespectful to their time and investment.
> I'd like to see more of a discussion about why we're all still doing this
> despite knowing all the warts. By remembering our reasons, however
> habitual, we can focus on making those kinds of things more accessible to
> the people who haven't yet started thinking about what we do in terms of 
> an
> addiction. :-)
> ~HL Elsa of Mooneschadowe
>
> -- 
> So if knowing is half the battle, what's the other half? Halberds.
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