[Bards] Throwing one to the Lions...

iainmacc at juno.com iainmacc at juno.com
Sat Aug 4 09:31:33 PDT 2001

        Good Gentles,

        I would like to submit this piece for critique. I don't know
anything really about "style" or "form", but I can recognize the pattern
of this one as being the same as limericks. The few times I have
performed it, I have found it to be effective. The disclaimer at the
beginning is part of the piece.

              Thanks again,

                      Iain MacCrimmon

        The following is a work of fiction. The characters represented
herein are not meant to bear any resemblance to any actual persons,
living or dead. With your permission,


        Lords and Ladies, neighbors and kinsmen,
        From the High, the Middle, and the Low,
        We're here for the wake of my darlin' Kate,
        The ugliest woman I know.

        Her hair was the color of wattle and daub,
        Not a wave, not a shimmer, not a curl.
        She had her nose broken when he was a child,
        And again when she was a girl.

        She had her a figure I have to admit,
        Not unlike some fighters I know.
        She could give you a fright in the wee of the night,
        When she wanted to give it a go.

        Her ears and her teeth were rather too large.
        They seemed to go on for a day.
        You could tell for a mile whenever she'd smile.
        Some folk would run screamin' away.

        Her eyes were as dark as a two-day-old bruise.
        She invented the look that could kill.
        Perhaps it's best that she's gone to her rest,
        But damme I love her still.

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