[Bards] A Lady's Freedom
Marie Adams
marie.adams at visionoflove.net
Mon Jul 21 11:28:55 PDT 2003
I agree with Milo; I liked the piece very much, except maybe for the part
at the end where the heroine killed her old fiancee. However, the setting
is a battle, so someone had to die! ;-) -- Serena
On Fri, 18 Jul 2003, Milo LeRoux wrote:
> Huzaah! Well done, Lady Madelina!
> When I have a little more time, I will pour over it more closely and
> send more detailed feedback but this is a _delightful_ piece and is very
> well written.
>
> Most admirably,
>
> Milo
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "Jane Sitton" <lymadelina at yahoo.com>
> To: <bards at ansteorra.org>
> Sent: Friday, July 18, 2003 12:43 PM
> Subject: [Bards] A Lady's Freedom
>
>
> I have recently finished this piece, though I feel it
> could use some polishing. Please reply with
> constructive criticism, if you have any. Many thanks.
>
> A Lady's Freedom by Lady Madelina de Lindesay
>
> The men in my family aren't fighters. They shy from
> the sword - how they run!
> I don't know if you feel like I do, but it's time now
> that something was done.
> I'm weary from constant oppression. The raiders, they
> come in the night.
> I'm leaving my spinning and weaving. I'm girding my
> loins for the fight!
>
> My father, an old man in dotage, too feeble to notice
> I'm gone -
> He thinks I'm my years buried mother. I wonder how
> he'll carry on?
> My husband, a mild-mannered milksop, he hides and he
> trembles in fright.
> The one son I bore him, an infant, is safe with his
> nursemaid tonight.
>
> I've sent my handmaid for the scissors. My long
> chestnut mane will soon fall.
> I'm binding my breasts with tight linen. I'm sounding
> the clarion call.
> The blacksmith has sharpened a broad sword, years
> rusty from lack of good use.
> He's polished it up to a bright shine. It's ready to
> do some abuse.
>
> I've strapped on my dead brother's armor, formed back
> when he still was a youth.
> It fits fairly well, that I must say. It's time that
> it finally saw use.
> The stable boy holds tight the bridle as I pull myself
> onto my mare.
> I know I'm not tested in battle, but those villains
> had better beware.
>
> The rogues may have more strength to call on. They're
> trained how to fight from a lad.
> But they've never faced hordes of young mothers -
> we're scared, but what's more, we are mad.
> I've shielded my horse in a thicket. I'm scouting for
> signs of those knaves.
> They've set up their camp in my valley, and hidden
> themselves in dark caves.
>
> My eyes can't believe what I've spotted - the leader
> of this brigand band.
> I recognize him by his tabard. He asked long ago for
> my hand.
> I tell all my friends and my vassals this battle is
> mine, now I know.
> They must wait behind in their armor, as I change to
> garments of gold.
>
> Now softly, I enter the campsite. The sentry calls
> out for his chief.
> I wait patiently, eyes averted. Though looking
> demure, I'm the thief.
> My heart, how it hammers a cadence - like a blacksmith
> forging a knife.
> I'm putting my plan into action, though it just might
> cost me my life.
>
> Now my long lost love stands before me. I thought he
> had died on Crusade!
> When he heard I had married his brother, that's when
> he took up the blade!
> He leads me into the twilight, and holds me like he
> did before.
> If I give in, then I'd lose the battle, but gain back
> those sweet days of yore.
>
> Now I ask you, what choice would you make if your
> fondest dream, you could regain?
> Take freedom, and flee with your lover? Or avenge all
> the meek he has slain?
> I follow his torch to the cavern where his silken bed
> gleams in the light.
> I've made up my mind to surrender, but only for one
> final night!
>
> Then closely, we two joined our faces. You wives
> surely know what I mean.
> His labored breath, now coming softly, draws suddenly
> in, sharp and keen.
> See, my veiling held secret a dagger in case of a too
> close attack.
> In his haste to free me of small clothes, he didn't
> see I'd stab his back!
>
> Now freedom is just what you make it. Your heart
> surely says what is right.
> I gave it, and took it in bargain, so I sing to my
> daughter at night.
>
>
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