[Bards] Poetic Exercise #6

Marie Adams marie.adams at visionoflove.net
Thu Oct 16 16:56:36 PDT 2003


That was great! The original wasn't bad, but the complete poem is much
better. Beautifully done!
	Serena

On Thu, 16 Oct 2003 jerryn at houston.rr.com wrote:

> Thanks, but I'm a semi-failure.  However, since that makes me a semi-success as well, I'm glad you liked it. ;-)
>
> Ulf had asked for the last word to come back to the first word (lagniappe, if you will) for closure's sake.
>
> I had fully intended to do this, and had written first and last verses first (infrastructure) while the middle two verses were the detail-work (all of this to keep with Ulf's analogies).  However, I forgot to put the last verse in because I needed to get ready for work.
>
> So.  Here's the whole poem, divided into verses (as originally intended).
>
>  Stand up ye of noble heart,
>  Heart all bound by spurs and chain,
>  Chain that 'minds you of your oath,
>  Oath, once given, will remain.
>
>  Remain in service, Warrior fair,
>  Fair be judgements from your hand,
>  Hand that fights for lord and Liege,
>  Liege who guides and loves the land.
>
>  Land that holds you to your word,
>  Word that binds you to your king,
>  King that gave you chain and belt,
>  Belt of white and chain of ring.
>
>  Ring that circles, ever wends,
>  Wends through heart and hearth and hand
>  Hand that guides the sword of state,
>  State your business, make your stand.
>
> In service to the dream with a song in my heart, I am
> HL Gerald of Leesville
> Ravenskald of Ravensfort
> A bard of Stargate
>
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "Biggs, Truly" <truly.biggs at hp.com>
> Date: Thursday, October 16, 2003 9:22 am
> Subject: RE: [Bards] Poetic Exercise #6
>
> > Gerald - this is good stuff. Sort of actually rings a little Tolkein
> > esque there at the end especially. Maybe just to me. I like this.
> >
> >
> > Yay Gerald!
> >
> > Yay Ulf for having such good ideas.
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > -----Original Message-----
> > From: Gerald Norris [jerryn at houston.rr.com]
> > Sent: Thursday, October 16, 2003 6:49 AM
> > To: Ansteorran Bardic list
> > Subject: RE: [Bards] Poetic Exercise #6
> >
> > Stand up ye of noble heart,
> > Heart all bound by spurs and chain,
> > Chain that 'minds you of your oath,
> > Oath, once given, will remain.
> > Remain in service, Warrior fair,
> > Fair be judgements from your hand,
> > Hand that fights for lord and Liege,
> > Liege who guides and loves the land.
> > Land that holds you to your word,
> > Word that binds you to your king,
> > King that gave you chain and belt,
> > Belt of white and chain of ring.
> >
> > Gerald.
> >
> >
> > > -----Original Message-----
> > > From: bards-bounces at ansteorra.org
> > [bards-bounces at ansteorra.org]On
> > > Behalf Of Ulf Gunnarsson
> > > Sent: Thursday, October 16, 2003 1:46 AM
> > > To: Ansteorran Bardic list
> > > Subject: [Bards] Poetic Exercise #6
> > >
> > >
> > > "Poetry is painting a picture with words."  I don't recall who first
> > > said that.  Maybe it was me.  But much of poetry is about tying
> > pieces> together to form a solid unit.  We use rhythm to define a
> > shape and
> > > rhyme to join the lines.  We use alliteration to highlight and
> > > cross-brace.  Maybe I should have said "Poetry is like
> > constructing a
> > > three dimensional building with words."  Ah, but then it
> > wouldn't have
> > > been as poetic...
> > >
> > > Chain verse is rather fun.  The Irish called it "conachlonn", and
> > > Amergin's Invocation of Ireland uses it:
> > >
> > > Ailim iath n-erend       I invoke the land of Ireland.
> > > Ermac muir motach        Much-coursed be the sea so fertile
> > > Motach sliab sreatach    Fertile be the mountain fruit-strewn
> > > Sreatach coill ciotach   Fruit-strewn be the woods all showery
> > > Ciotach ab eascach       Showery be the river of waterfalls
> > > etc...
> > >
> > > You notice that, except for the opening line, the last word of one
> > line
> > > is the first word of the next.  This gives you a good connection
> > between
> > > each line, as well as providing some rhythm and foreshadowing.
> > It can
> > > get a little boring when spoken aloud, but the technique is a
> > good one
> > > to use for emphasis in other forms.
> > >
> > > For this exercise, write a poem about knights using chain verse.
> > Use
> > > any meter you feel like (if any).  Use at least 5 lines, but no more
> > > than 16 lines.  And, just for fun, make the last word of the
> > last line
> > > the same as the first word of the first line, so that it goes full
> > > circle.
> > >
> > > ---------
> > > Bold stood the warrior,
> > > Warrior with white belt,
> > > White belt and gold chain,
> > > Chain verse reciting,
> > > Reciting it boldly.
> > > ---------
> > >
> > > Ulf Gunnarsson
> > >
> > >
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