[Bards] more triolets

[Marie Adams]

Beautiful! I don't know anything about this poetry form, but the
thoughts in the verses were lovely! Also, if I may say: you put "veil"
in the next to last line, where you probably meant to put "shield".
You may want to look at that.    Serena Dominicci

On Sat, 21 Feb 2004, Haines, Paul wrote:

> Greetings to the good bards of the list from a baby bard currently sailing
> off the coast of Meridies.  I've had some time to work more triolets while
> I've been at sea.  I completed one triolet and it inspired me enough to turn
> it into a series which I title "A Last Request".  I may carry it out longer,
> but I felt the four octets was a good point to share it with you.  Comments
> and critiques are always welcome.  Enjoy!
>
> ~Alden Drake
>
> A Last Request
>
> To see your lovely face once more,
> Is all I ask before I leave.
> Dear God in Heaven I implore
> To see your lovely face once more.
> The king has called, I go to war,
> For me, I beg you not to grieve.
> To see your lovely face once more,
> Is all I ask before I leave.
>
> I pray look not upon my face
> And see my eyes now filled with tears.
> Remember me in all my grace
> I pray look not upon my face.
> Lift not, my lord, this veil of lace,
> Which hides away my darkest fears
> I pray look not upon my face
> And see my eyes now filled with tears.
>
> Hide not the tears that freely flow
> >From deep within your gentle heart,
> For rain gives flowers strength to grow.
> Hide not the tears that freely flow,
> Upon your cheeks that all might know
> The depth of love of those apart.
> Hide not the tears that freely flow
> >From deep within your gentle heart.
>
> Take with you then my tear-stained shield
> And place upon my lips a kiss
> For courage on the battlefield.
> Take with you then my tear-stained shield,
> A favor born of love to wield,
> In battle far from those you miss.
> Take with you then my tear-stained veil
> And place upon my lips a kiss.
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