[Bards] more triolets

[ED Reese]

Wow....

Amazing. I really like how you use the form to get your message across, and
I like the "duet" you've created. Did they join triolets together into a
longer story form in period, too, or is that your way cool innovation?
(No criticism implied by the question; I really, really like this.)

The imagery is superb -- the lace veil as her shield, becoming his shield,
or the favor of her inspiration, is very nicely done. It conveys her
personality and his as well in an evocative way, which I much prefer to a
"laundry list" description.

Very nice. I must say, you're inspiring me to maybe give this form a try --
I'm still very shaky on all this poetry stuff. :-)

Stay well and keep safe.

Esther of Ennis Merth

-----Original Message-----
From: bards-bounces at ansteorra.org [mailto:bards-bounces at ansteorra.org]On
Behalf Of Haines, Paul
Sent: Saturday, February 21, 2004 12:41 PM
To: 'bards at ansteorra.org'
Subject: [Bards] more triolets


Greetings to the good bards of the list from a baby bard currently sailing
off the coast of Meridies.  I've had some time to work more triolets while
I've been at sea.  I completed one triolet and it inspired me enough to turn
it into a series which I title "A Last Request".  I may carry it out longer,
but I felt the four octets was a good point to share it with you.  Comments
and critiques are always welcome.  Enjoy!

~Alden Drake

A Last Request

To see your lovely face once more,
Is all I ask before I leave.
Dear God in Heaven I implore
To see your lovely face once more.
The king has called, I go to war,
For me, I beg you not to grieve.
To see your lovely face once more,
Is all I ask before I leave.

I pray look not upon my face
And see my eyes now filled with tears.
Remember me in all my grace
I pray look not upon my face.
Lift not, my lord, this veil of lace,
Which hides away my darkest fears
I pray look not upon my face
And see my eyes now filled with tears.

Hide not the tears that freely flow
>From deep within your gentle heart,
For rain gives flowers strength to grow.
Hide not the tears that freely flow,
Upon your cheeks that all might know
The depth of love of those apart.
Hide not the tears that freely flow
>From deep within your gentle heart.

Take with you then my tear-stained shield
And place upon my lips a kiss
For courage on the battlefield.
Take with you then my tear-stained shield,
A favor born of love to wield,
In battle far from those you miss.
Take with you then my tear-stained veil
And place upon my lips a kiss.
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