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<DIV>On Sun, 6 Jul 2003 11:51:40 -0700 (PDT) Little Dancer <<A
href="mailto:born2bonstage@yahoo.com">born2bonstage@yahoo.com</A>>
writes:</DIV>
<BLOCKQUOTE dir=ltr
style="PADDING-LEFT: 10px; MARGIN-LEFT: 10px; BORDER-LEFT: #000000 2px solid">
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV>Here is a small taste of my original poetry... I have not mastered comic
poetry yet so most of mine are on a serious note... Please, tell me what you
think (Good and bad)</DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV>THOUGH NOT OF GOLD</DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV>Although it is not mine to give</DIV>
<DIV>because I have none of it by name</DIV>
<DIV>what soft splender suprises me </DIV>
<DIV>and erupts my soul to flame</DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV>If it were mine, I'd give it thee</DIV>
<DIV>so take it sir, alas</DIV>
<DIV>protect it well</DIV>
<DIV>though not of gold </DIV>
<DIV>this heart of worn and tarnished brass.</DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV>It is one of my shorter pieces... I have longer...</DIV>
<DIV> </DIV></BLOCKQUOTE>
<DIV> I like this piece. It says it
well, and it says it straight to the point. Granted, the meter of the 1st and
2nd stanzas does not match, which most would probably consider a flaw. And the
fact that it doesn't makes the delivery clumsy in the mouth of someone who
hasn't seen it before. Still though, I like what it says and how it is
put.</DIV>
<DIV> It reminds me of something I
wrote several years ago:</DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV> All the Marbles</DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV>I'd give nearly anything</DIV>
<DIV>To spend my days with you.</DIV>
<DIV>Working, sharing, loving,</DIV>
<DIV>The way we used to do.</DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV>But what have I to give for such?</DIV>
<DIV>Whatever could I sell?</DIV>
<DIV>A brain that works but poorly,</DIV>
<DIV>And a heart that works too well.</DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV> I find that poetry is accepted,
for that matter anything is accepted, if it's done well. Both of these pieces
(yours and mine) are ones I wouldn't do for competition, though. Regardless of
the fact that mine is out of period, they are both *too* short. Yes, I agree
that brevity is a good thing, and there is a certain validity to 'leaving your
audience wanting more'. But something that takes less time than it takes to
introduce yourself is TOO short. I try for something that takes at least a
minute and a half to deliver, no more than 5 minutes, tops. My preference, my
"comfortable range", is right in the middle of that, at 2 1/2 to 4
minutes.</DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV>
In Joyful Service,</DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV>
Iain MacCrimmon</DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV><BR>
Cave Tyranniam Timorium Suorum<BR></DIV></BODY></HTML>