Dear People 
I have been doing a lot of conversations with individual that were 
leaving the SCA. I have been trying to find out why they did not find 
us fun. I have found a trend and I am going to share this information 
with you. You personally may not be guiltily of this mistake. I know 
I have been. It is important for us to think about this problem and 
maybe set up some guild lines  to avoid it in the future.

Many of the younger people -those 25 and younger- look at 
organization differently than us older people. They have spend their 
whole lives in bureaucratic systems. Mostly well ran systems. Their 
experiences have shown them that if the officers or someone in power 
gives them a passive "no" then it is of no used to continue with the 
plans. They do not like to have interpersonal conflict and avoid 
conflict as much as they can. I talked to many of them and gave them 
scenario and asked them what the would do. This is what they told me.

You go to an officer, noble (this including non landed, Baron/ess or 
autocrate and suggest an idea and the person tells you without and 
positive statement, "Put it in writing." Most of the people I talked 
to said they would take this as a no. It is a put off. The individual 
thinks the idea is bad and plans to axe it.  The individual does not 
plan to present it in a way to give it a fair shake. Now if the 
person makes some kind of personal statement that implies that it is 
a worthwhile idea and may stand a chance then it is not a "No". If 
the person think someone in the officialdom would be behind it they 
are willing to write it down. Also they are happier if they have the 
chance to present their idea to decision makers.

If Someone goes to the perceived people in charge and the individual 
says, "I will get back to you." and doesn't within the week most 
people take this as a "No.

If someone goes to the people in charge with an idea and the person 
start talking about how they don't have enough people to do X,Y or Z 
the individual usually thinks this is "NO".

If the people looks away, or doesn't listen or replies with non 
enthusiastic voice people often think that these are cues to tell you 
that the idea is unacceptable without actually saying no, but it is 
a "No".

One of the Common reason that people drift out of the SCA is that 
they feel "shut out", "not listened to" and "are not able to do 
things that interest them". 

I know many of our groups in the Central are begging people to do 
things. We must be failing in our communication. People are not 
understand us and we are not understanding them. 

I have experienced this problem of changes in the meaning of words 
and actions about four times in my life in the SCA. I joined in AS. 
3. The only solution is to change how we are communicating. We must 
change it does no good to try to change the newer people. They are 
coming from the baseline culture.

In my everyday life I have been a paid organizer and recruiter. I 
have been paid to make action groups. The first stage is to look at 
your communications. 

Think about it and if someone comes to you with an idea be sure to 
start out positive. Be careful not to be to positive. 

"That is an interesting idea. Let me look into it and see if it is 
doable."  Please Remember if the person can cover the cost and has 
the people and resources they should be allowed to do something as 
long it isn't illegal, immoral or just really hokey or against the 
values or purposes of the SCA. If it is too hokey or against the 
values or purposes of the SCA please take the time to mutate the idea 
so it is acceptable. 

Duchess Willow de Wisp -one of the ancient founders of Ansteorra.   
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