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<DIV><SPAN class=109293104-15112007><FONT face=Arial color=#0000ff size=2>Here's
a quick cliff-notes version for those of you who might want a
refresher on the story. (Reposted with permission from another
list)</FONT></SPAN></DIV>
<DIV><SPAN class=109293104-15112007><FONT face=Arial color=#0000ff
size=2></FONT></SPAN> </DIV>
<DIV><SPAN class=109293104-15112007><FONT face=Arial color=#0000ff size=2>~ Ka
... er ... Gerald</FONT></SPAN></DIV>
<DIV><SPAN class=109293104-15112007><FONT face=Arial color=#0000ff
size=2>(tee-hee-hee!)</FONT></SPAN></DIV>
<DIV><SPAN class=109293104-15112007><FONT face=Arial color=#0000ff
size=2></FONT></SPAN> </DIV>
<DIV><SPAN class=109293104-15112007><FONT face=Arial color=#0000ff
size=2></FONT></SPAN> </DIV>
<DIV><SPAN class=109293104-15112007><FONT face=Arial color=#0000ff
size=2></FONT><FONT face=Arial color=#0000ff size=2></FONT><BR>BEOWULF<BR>by
Rathflaed DuNoir<BR>The Black Bard of Meridies<BR>mka: Stephen R. Melvin<BR><A
href="http://www.chivalry.com/blackbard/"><FONT
color=#1e66ae>http://www.chivalry<WBR>.com/blackbard/</FONT></A><BR></SPAN></DIV>
<DIV><SPAN class=109293104-15112007><FONT face=Arial color=#0000ff
size=2></FONT><BR>See Grendel. See Grendel eat. Eat, Grendel, eat. Grendel is
eating a <BR>few Danish for breakfast. Grendel especially likes the ones with
the<BR>yellow coating on top. This is good because there are so many of
them.<BR>Yummy!<BR><BR>See Hrothgar. He is sad. Sad, sad, sad. His warriors are
leaving. They<BR>are sad because Grendel has eaten many of their friends. They
do not want<BR>to play with Grendel anymore because Grendel is
mean.<BR><BR>Hrothgar is also sad because his food is almost gone. Grendel eats
the cows<BR>and pigs and horsies, too. Grendel is very hungry. Eat, Grendel,
eat.<BR><BR>Hrothgar is also sad because his wife will not stop complaining.
Whine,<BR>wife, whine. Hrothgar has tried to stop listening to her for three
days<BR>now. Drink, Hrothgar, drink. Hrothgar is almost out of mead.
Poor<BR>Hrothgar.<BR><BR>See Beowulf. He is big and strong and handsome. He has
long viking braids<BR>and pointy horns on his hat and a really big sword. Ooh,
Beowulf, ooh!<BR>He is sailing to Denmark to visit Hrothgar. Sail, Beowulf,
sail. He does<BR>not know that Hrothgar is almost out of mead. Poor
Beowulf.<BR><BR>Beowulf likes to sail. Beowulf likes to drink even more. Poor
Beowulf.<BR>When he gets to Denmark, there is only enough mead left for one
feast.<BR>Poor Beowulf. Poor Hrothgar. Poor warriors. Poor Grendel. Beowulf
is<BR>very mad. Mad, mad, mad.<BR><BR>Beowulf vows to slay Grendel. Vow,
Beowulf, vow. He promises to do<BR>many great feats. He swears to return with
Grendel's head. Drink, Beowulf,<BR>drink.<BR><BR>Beowulf is lying very still. Is
he waiting to surprise Grendel? No, he<BR>is not waiting to surprise Grendel. Is
he meditating? No, he is not<BR>meditating. Is he practicing an Arcane magical
ritual involving a lawn<BR>chair, six milk bottles and a tuning fork? No, he is
unconscious. Won't<BR>he be surprised when he wakes up and they tell him about
his promises?<BR>Won't he be happy to know that he has a quest? Won't he feel
grand<BR>when the warriors cheer him? No, Beowulf will not feel grand for
awhile.<BR>He has a headache. Poor Beowulf. Please stop cheering
warriors.<BR><BR>O see the castle. It is very quiet. Is it quiet because
everyone is<BR>afraid of Grendel? No it is not quiet becaude everyone is afraid
of<BR>Grendel. Is it quiet because everyone is afraid of Beowulf? Yet, it<BR>is
because everyone is afraid of Beowulf. Beowulf has had a very bad<BR>headache
for three days. Last night, Beowulf's head hurt so bad that<BR>he was very mad.
Mad, mad, mad. Grendel came over to play and made too<BR>much noise. Beowulf was
very upset. Beowulf was so upset that he ripped<BR>Grendel's arm off and hung it
over the door. Poor Grendel. Poor<BR>warriors. Smile at Beowulf. Just do it
quietly.<BR><BR>O see the feast hall. It is bright and cheery. There is food on
the<BR>tables and mead in the horns and a great big arm over the door.
See<BR>the feasters. They are singing and laughing and drinking. Are
they<BR>happy that Grendel is dead? Yes, they are happy that Grendel is
dead.<BR>Are they happy that they can laugh and sing and play again? Yes,
they<BR>are they happy that they can laugh and sing and play again. But most
of<BR>all they are happy that there is more mead. Drink, Beowulf,
drink.<BR><BR>O see Hrothgar. He is happy. Happy, happy, happy.<BR><BR>Is he
happy that Grendel is dead? Is he happy that there is more mead?<BR>Yes, but he
is mostly happy because his wife has stopped complaining.<BR>Smile, Hrothgar,
smile.<BR><BR>O see Grendel's mother. She is sad. Sad, sad, sad. Is she sad
because<BR>Grendel is gone? Is she sad because her other children never call?
Is<BR>she sad because the Angels are losing again? Yes, she is sad because
of<BR>all these things. But she is mostly sad because she won't get any
more<BR>mother's day presents. This makes her mad. Mad, mad, mad.<BR><BR>She
gets so mad that she decides to have some Danish for dessert. That is<BR>silly.
Everyone knows that you are supposed to have Danish for breakfast.<BR>Silly,
silly, silly.<BR><BR>In fact it is so silly that we think that Grendel's mother
may have had<BR>something besides food for dinner. We think that Grendel's
mother may<BR>have been drinking. Just like Beowulf.<BR><BR>O see Beowulf. Now
that there is mead again he is drinking some more.<BR>Drink, Beowulf, drink.
When Grendel's mother comes to the feast,<BR>Beowulf has already drunk quite a
bit. So has Grendel's mother. He thinks she is the<BR>most beautiful woman in
the world and makes a pass at her. Pass, Beowulf,<BR>pass. She is caught off
guard and says no. Tease, monster, tease. <BR>Beowulf tries again. She leaves
and he goes home with her. Grendel's mother was<BR>never heard from again.
Beowulf was very quiet about the whole situation.<BR>Quiet, quiet,
quiet.<BR><BR>THE END<BR></SPAN></DIV></BODY></HTML>