[Bordermarch] Squib

[Lathrop, Dave]

Nomis,

 

Your observations, as usual, ring with but the smallest hint of truth.
HE Elisabeth does indeed seem intent on having me taste some of the
latest creations she magically pops out of the hearth, but then again,
that's why I have my food taster! Since neither I, nor my food taster
has succumbed to any of her recipes I must conclude that her culinary
skills are of honest intent.  

Nomis , I have known you for a long time and I trust you, sort of, but
you failed to find the true source of my family's recent illness. With
the help of some personal resources I have concluded that the pox that
was placed upon all my loved ones was inflicted by my Squib! 

>From whence comes of these foul winds of sickness I know not, but my
Squib has been chosen as the vessel that would carry, and hence
propagate this plague. I saw a portent of looming disaster and ignored
it. 

Unseen by Lord Adam the Unseeing was the grin on Squib's cherubic like
face as he gallantly offered to change Squib's diaper. Squib is but five
moons, and weighs no more than a loaf of beer bread.

She waves her arms and legs about profusely, and invites all to cuddle
up to her fat little cheeks. Beware Squib's kiss, for I know it to be
filled with sorcery of the worst kind.

Lord Adam had Squib's diaper off and was attempting to replace it when
Squib let loose from her neither regions a stream of poison; it hit Lord
Adam smack in the chest. Lord Adam broke the covenant men have had with
babies for eons, he forgot to wear his armor whilst changing a diaper.
He realized his error and began to moan and wail  and thrash about, all
the while Squib's foul fluids continued to soaked through his tunic,
relentlessly seeking out a patch of bare skin. Between Lord Adam's trips
to the chamber pot he relayed to me that Squib actually glowed like a
fire worm and squeaked with glee when her fluids found their mark.

Unknown to Lord Adam was the fact that HE Elisabeth was still recovering
from Squib's malady.  I first became aware of HE Elisabeth's situation
when she started to consistently removed herself from our sleeping
chamber and spend a unusual amount of time in the lou. A man can waste
time multitasking in a lou by reading the works of the Masters while at
the same time, cleansing his soul of other debris; a woman cannot! I was
suspicious to say the least. My suspicion did not impair my ability to
reach a state of complete unconsciousness, and hence my unhindered sleep
like state of being until I heard, "Santiago," in the smallest weakest
of whispers. "Santiago." Again I fought the urge to wake up, but she is
persistent. "Santiago, would you please get me a cold rag for my head
and a bucket for my drool?" It was my love muffin Elisabeth calling for
my help. When I finally came too and proceeded to do as she asked, I
realized she was afflicted with something fouler than foul!

Two days she suffered by draining out her precious body fluids, so much
so she is still weak to this day. I didn't know then what caused her
sickness, but for sure it was our granddaughter Squib. 

Squib then struck down Lady Rene' de la Emaciated Sisterhood. Lady Rene'
was  afflicted late in the evening while attending to Lord Adam, her
knight without shining armor. She knocked on our sleeping chamber, and
begged for help from my still withered Elisabeth. Elisabeth gave her
some potions and herbs to help ease her dilemma, to this day Lady Rene'
de la Emaciated Sisterhood suffers the side effects from Squib's deadly
contagions.

A distant relative stayed at the manse for a short while during the
final stages of HE Elisabeth's battle; he left for Bryn Gwlad, and is
reported to be suffering great sorrow from his contact with Squib.

Since I have held the hand of the devil and danced to Squib's jig during
last year's Yule celebrations, I seem to have built up some resistance
to the evil that she spreads while playing cute little innocent baby
girl.

My stomach rolled like the pounding surf on Del Quinn's reef, my desire
for food and drink was nonexistent, I dreamed of hunkering over my
chamber pot, calling to the Almighty to take me now! I would be remise
if I did not tell of my consistent drooling, I had what is known as
"Slobber Mouth." I still carry a drool rag even though I no longer
drool. Though I had all the symptoms, they never blossomed into a full
blown bout of Squib's malady, praise be to God!

Squib's syndrome is now in a somewhat dormant state, she probably
realized that since she can crawl just a tiny bit, it would do no good
to inflict her debilitating sorcery on everyone who could possibly feed
her.

Squib's mother, my beautiful daughter Lady Amy the Uncaring, was spared
all of Squib's wrath. It must be a mother thing because Lady Amy the
Uncaring continues to change Squib's diapers and even goes so far as to
bath Squib!

M'lord Termiticus, my youngest son, stayed the course and spent his
resources and time far to the west at the grandmother's hut. The
grandmother spoils Termiticus with food and drink, but her temptations
spared Termiticus much misery.

Lady Kahleah with Two Sprouts, daughter No. 1,  left for her village
early enough to forestall any illness contracted from Squib. We have not
heard from her nor her Two Sprouts and do worry for their well being.

I do not wish Squib's malady on anyone, so I beseech you Nomis, stay
your hand as you reach for those innocent looking babies. Resist the
urge to make the goo-goo sound. Should you cross paths with one of the
small ones that are becoming ever so popular in our fair barony, do not
make eye contact! It's unfortunate, but even at their young age of less
than six moons they seem to possess more intelligence than you, my good
friend Nomis. 

 

 

Santiago