[Bordermarch] Chronicler

[Lathrop, Dave]

Ok my pretties, until our Chronicler's office is filled, your loving Seneschal Lord Adolf and I shall be helping with putting together the issues for the Trumpeter. Lord Phocas shall tutelize us, but that might be a useless endeavor. I'm thinking of applying for the office myself, now wouldn't that be special!
We need stories, art work, poems, pictures and so much more to fill the pages, and we need it from all of you.
I believe you've all been well trained in the fine art of Story Telling, whether you know it or not, by merely exposing yourselves to the stories that come across our list. My best advice concerning Story Telling is to not let the truth or facts influence your story in any way.
Don't be afraid of bad grammar, we'll have folks behind the scenes who can fix anything.
Just because the teacher's away does not mean you officers will get away with not sending in your reports in a timely manner for publishing.

Lord Nik; those Play Dough action figures you've crafted of your favorite White Scarf will certainly make for an interesting article in the Trumpeter.

Lord Aaron Whitewolf; perhaps you could put into the printed word the process you plan to use to bring those wilted dead grape vines that are hanging off rusted chicken wire in you're so-you call  vineyard, back to life!

Surely there must be a tale or two that Lord Adolf would like share concerning his abhorrent  behavior towards those he suspects of tampering with his bowl of fruit salad. We all witnessed his paranoid like behavior at Round Table this weekend while all the Bordermarchers were enjoying a noonday meal together in Lubby's restaurant.
It all started when his little bowl of strawberries, blueberries, and soft bananas was unintentionally misplaced by our lovely waitress. When he discovered it was missing he immediately jerked his head almost completely around on his neck as if someone behind him was bogarting the fruit! He then started pointing fingers at everyone at the table, while verbally throwing out accusations that were groundless. He grabbed my bowl of fruit and wouldn't give it back until I produced my receipt proving I had indeed bought a fruit bowl for both myself and my Lady.
The man became so desperate when he couldn't find his fruit, he dropped to the ground on his hands and knees for who knows what reason.
While in the horsey position on the ground, Lord Adolf spied his fruit resting gently on the chair seat that just happened to be next my precious Elisabeth.
He instantly reclaimed his treasure and started to vigorously shake his sausage like meaty finger at my Elisabeth, openly accusing her of playing some kind of cruel joke at his expense!
HE Elisabeth has never had exposure to violent and crass people. She has lived a very sheltered life, and all who know her will attest to her virtuous nature.  She would never, never ever-ever play such a cruel low-class joke on another!
Lord Adolf pulled his special bowl of fruit to his chest and began to devour it, all the while keeping his dark beady eyes darting between all of us at the table.
The totally embarrassing moments of Lord Adolf's fits of anger and accusations finally came to an end when we had to leave the restaurant and return to round Table.
As I was leaving the table, I couldn't help but notice Lord Adolf's precious bowl of fruit partially hidden under his napkin. I realized then that Lord Adolf had only eaten the soft bananas from the bowl of fruit he had made such a big fuss about earlier. Someone in our group shouted out "What a Weenie!", but I could not identify the source because her swollen feet must have garbled her Yankee accent.

We can always use some filler material in the Trumpeter for those times when all is quite in the barony.
One bit of filler material that I would like to see in our news letter is the complete tale Lord Zane began to share while journeying  home from Round Table. It seems I'm not the only one in the Barony who has vivid dreams; I speak now of Lord Zane and his dreams of Ball Lightning! That's all we've got to work with so far. He clammed up when he realized who he was talking to. Perhaps he could jot down the details of his dream and pass them on to me; I would guarantee absolute anonymity for Lord Zane.

Let us now speak of HE Therese d'Ivoire.
She has been everything and knows a lot of stuff. She prints really well and can use a colored pencil with great skill.
Although HE Therese is no longer our A&S officer, Lord Nik the great communicator is, she is our Scribal officer. She taught such a wonderfully informative Beginners Scribal class at our A&S day, I wonder if she could put together an ongoing column for the Trumpeter aimed specifically at Teaching the Scribal Arts of Calligraphy and Illumination to our populace. It might be too much to ask, but we could beg a boon from her and ask her to share with us the secrets of mixing the ancient clays and potions to produce the colored inks used by the ancients.
She also knows a lot of cool stuff about pottery, go figure!

I must not forget Countess Mistress Tessa of the Gardens;
She heads our cooks guild and does share some of her secret recipes now and then, but we all want more! I saw her teach a butter-making class at one of our Melees, and who doesn't like butter. I know she can cook turnips and carrots using totally period techniques. Might a suggest a culinary column in the Trumpeter called, [Tessa's Tubers]?
Her mate Sir Simonn is an accomplished author who could write a regular column in the Trumpeter about [How to Write a Column in the Trumpeter].
He has been making armor for our fighters and others forever! He might have posted some of his ideas in the past, but our new folks would probably like to see some of his designs and methodology posted in the Trumpeter.

These are just a few random thoughts to chew on.

HE Santiago