[Bordermarch] Chronicler

[Phocas]

Well Said your Excellency! I see why you're the Baron- you sure can put
people on the spot.  Gee, I thinking I could just hold on to the
Chroniclers Office and hire you to solicit articles for me. :)  ... but
Kingdom isn't going to allow that, they are on to me being in office
"too long" and deemed we have to have a different Chronicler by next Red
Tape.

I am very anxious to hear Lord Adolf's side of the fruit bowl story and
hear more of Zane's dreams.

And what about Nomis, are we going to give Nomis is own column?
Something like: "Nomis' Nosense" or was that supposed to be "Nomis'
Nonsense"



Lord Phocas 
(who won't know what the REAL stories are when he's not an officer
anymore)



-----Original Message-----
From: bordermarch-bounces+phocas=bordermarch.org at lists.ansteorra.org
[mailto:bordermarch-bounces+phocas=bordermarch.org at lists.ansteorra.org]
On Behalf Of Lathrop, Dave
Sent: Monday, July 20, 2009 3:04 PM
To: Barony Bordermarch
Subject: [Bordermarch] Chronicler

Ok my pretties, until our Chronicler's office is filled, your loving
Seneschal Lord Adolf and I shall be helping with putting together the
issues for the Trumpeter. Lord Phocas shall tutelize us, but that might
be a useless endeavor. I'm thinking of applying for the office myself,
now wouldn't that be special!
We need stories, art work, poems, pictures and so much more to fill the
pages, and we need it from all of you.
I believe you've all been well trained in the fine art of Story Telling,
whether you know it or not, by merely exposing yourselves to the stories
that come across our list. My best advice concerning Story Telling is to
not let the truth or facts influence your story in any way.
Don't be afraid of bad grammar, we'll have folks behind the scenes who
can fix anything.
Just because the teacher's away does not mean you officers will get away
with not sending in your reports in a timely manner for publishing.

Lord Nik; those Play Dough action figures you've crafted of your
favorite White Scarf will certainly make for an interesting article in
the Trumpeter.

Lord Aaron Whitewolf; perhaps you could put into the printed word the
process you plan to use to bring those wilted dead grape vines that are
hanging off rusted chicken wire in you're so-you call  vineyard, back to
life!

Surely there must be a tale or two that Lord Adolf would like share
concerning his abhorrent  behavior towards those he suspects of
tampering with his bowl of fruit salad. We all witnessed his paranoid
like behavior at Round Table this weekend while all the Bordermarchers
were enjoying a noonday meal together in Lubby's restaurant.
It all started when his little bowl of strawberries, blueberries, and
soft bananas was unintentionally misplaced by our lovely waitress. When
he discovered it was missing he immediately jerked his head almost
completely around on his neck as if someone behind him was bogarting the
fruit! He then started pointing fingers at everyone at the table, while
verbally throwing out accusations that were groundless. He grabbed my
bowl of fruit and wouldn't give it back until I produced my receipt
proving I had indeed bought a fruit bowl for both myself and my Lady.
The man became so desperate when he couldn't find his fruit, he dropped
to the ground on his hands and knees for who knows what reason.
While in the horsey position on the ground, Lord Adolf spied his fruit
resting gently on the chair seat that just happened to be next my
precious Elisabeth.
He instantly reclaimed his treasure and started to vigorously shake his
sausage like meaty finger at my Elisabeth, openly accusing her of
playing some kind of cruel joke at his expense!
HE Elisabeth has never had exposure to violent and crass people. She has
lived a very sheltered life, and all who know her will attest to her
virtuous nature.  She would never, never ever-ever play such a cruel
low-class joke on another!
Lord Adolf pulled his special bowl of fruit to his chest and began to
devour it, all the while keeping his dark beady eyes darting between all
of us at the table.
The totally embarrassing moments of Lord Adolf's fits of anger and
accusations finally came to an end when we had to leave the restaurant
and return to round Table.
As I was leaving the table, I couldn't help but notice Lord Adolf's
precious bowl of fruit partially hidden under his napkin. I realized
then that Lord Adolf had only eaten the soft bananas from the bowl of
fruit he had made such a big fuss about earlier. Someone in our group
shouted out "What a Weenie!", but I could not identify the source
because her swollen feet must have garbled her Yankee accent.

We can always use some filler material in the Trumpeter for those times
when all is quite in the barony.
One bit of filler material that I would like to see in our news letter
is the complete tale Lord Zane began to share while journeying  home
from Round Table. It seems I'm not the only one in the Barony who has
vivid dreams; I speak now of Lord Zane and his dreams of Ball Lightning!
That's all we've got to work with so far. He clammed up when he realized
who he was talking to. Perhaps he could jot down the details of his
dream and pass them on to me; I would guarantee absolute anonymity for
Lord Zane.

Let us now speak of HE Therese d'Ivoire.
She has been everything and knows a lot of stuff. She prints really well
and can use a colored pencil with great skill.
Although HE Therese is no longer our A&S officer, Lord Nik the great
communicator is, she is our Scribal officer. She taught such a
wonderfully informative Beginners Scribal class at our A&S day, I wonder
if she could put together an ongoing column for the Trumpeter aimed
specifically at Teaching the Scribal Arts of Calligraphy and
Illumination to our populace. It might be too much to ask, but we could
beg a boon from her and ask her to share with us the secrets of mixing
the ancient clays and potions to produce the colored inks used by the
ancients.
She also knows a lot of cool stuff about pottery, go figure!

I must not forget Countess Mistress Tessa of the Gardens;
She heads our cooks guild and does share some of her secret recipes now
and then, but we all want more! I saw her teach a butter-making class at
one of our Melees, and who doesn't like butter. I know she can cook
turnips and carrots using totally period techniques. Might a suggest a
culinary column in the Trumpeter called, [Tessa's Tubers]?
Her mate Sir Simonn is an accomplished author who could write a regular
column in the Trumpeter about [How to Write a Column in the Trumpeter].
He has been making armor for our fighters and others forever! He might
have posted some of his ideas in the past, but our new folks would
probably like to see some of his designs and methodology posted in the
Trumpeter.

These are just a few random thoughts to chew on.

HE Santiago




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