[Bordermarch] Another Populace 10/28/2010

[Lathrop, Dave]

Bordermarch,
Please Butter my Buns!

We made it through Populace last and hardly anyone said anything rude about the fashionably chic e-bay Monkey Hat that M'Lord Keith wore throughout the meeting!
The instant Lady Paddy-Whack spied his monkey hat her stink-eye thing started happening. We all know from experience that the stink-eye happens every time she gets a wild hair about something.
I thought for sure she'd rip the hat off M'Lord Keith's head and bolt, but she contained herself just enough to find a place to sit.
Everyone at Populace sat real close-like together so as to enjoy the friendly communal conversation we all cherish so much; everyone except Lady Paddy-Whack, she sat at the donut table on the far side of the room by herself. She sat there through most of the meeting licking white powdered sugar from her digits while continuing to throw the stink-eye at M'Lord Keith's Monkey hat.

Lady Jillian puts her heart and soul into researching period recipes. She plows through the R&D of period cooking and always, and I mean always, brings the best of her cooking to share with everyone at populace;...............................last night she brought Dunkin Donuts!

Lady Jillian sent a wild frantic message with accompanying photos to my phone just before last night's Populace.
The context of her message alluded to something about the latest period recipe she was preparing for populace being bush-wacked!
Upon further investigation I discovered that her accompanying photos somehow attached themselves to my play-list of Engelbert Humperdinck songs!
I could only stand to look at but one of the photos.
In the photo I saw what looked to be clumps of burned marsh grass floating in liquid corn muffin paste. During the intermediate brief slivers of time I looked at the photo, I also notice that there were several smallish sliced and diced roasted squirrel brains? stuck on the side of Lady Jillian's heirloom cast iron skillet.
We all hope and pray she can get the skillet back to working condition before next populace.

Since I'm truly empathic, I could sense the pain and shame she was feeling when she walked into populace with her man, M'Lord Thomas, following behind carrying two huge boxes of donuts.
Lady Jillian immediately floated ever-so gracefully into her chair directly across from mine, she slowly lowered her head to the table and then extended both arms high above her head. Her apology for failing to bring a period snacky-thing to populace was totally unwarranted. I told her everything would be right with the world because I knew in my heart that she would never let it happen again.

The diametric dichotomy we all know as M'Lord Thomas, stood at his Lady Jillian's side while she offered up her soul and apology. He sort of resembled a
semi-solid, ancient cast pewter sentinel who was bearing the enormous weight of two full boxes of donuts in his quivering arms. He swayed a bit and looked as if he were about to faint, but he stood his ground until his Lady was finished with her apology.
The moment he sensed she was done, a smile ripped across his previously stern facial features; he then set the donut boxes on the table. I thought we were also going to hear an apology from him, but that was not to be. Instead, he slowly surveyed the room like a predator guarding its kill from scavengers, and then suddenly voiced a high pitched yodel and shouted, "I got first dibs on the banana jelly donut!"

Due to the room being just a tad hot last night, the caramel icing on the period buckwheat/fennel donuts began to melt!
Lord Slovaczek thought that turning on the fan in the room would help, but he didn't realize the fan was the type used to blow hardened concrete off the inside of concrete trucks. The fan cooled the room, but it also made it impossible to hear any conversation. It blew some of the powdered donut sugar into Lady Paddy-Whack's stink-eye, thereby giving M'Lord Keith the break he needed to escape with his Monkey hat!

If you spot a female with messed up red hair and a white stink-eye chasing down a terrified young man wearing a e-bay Monkey hat,...RUN AWAY!

HE Santiago