[Bordermarch] The Corpusants (a continuation)

[Lathrop, Dave]

Below is a missive I penned a few years ago that postulated that our Lord Zane's dreams of becoming a sailor would one day be fulfilled.
Lord Zane has designed a fleet of ships and is now in the construction phase! His feverish pace is depriving him of much needed sleep, but with
a few encouraging words I believe we can push him to excel beyond his wildest dreams!
My heart paces with excitement as I strain with all my might my cauliflowered ear to hear the wind whisper, ""The corpusants! the corpusants!"

HE Santiago


From:                                         Lathrop, Dave
Sent:                                           Friday, July 24, 2009 2:35 PM
To:                                               'Barony Bordermarch'
Subject:                                     The corpusants

By combining sleep deprivation with holistic narcolepsy techniques, I've been successful at ciphering a hypothesis pertinent to the irrelevancy of Lord Zane's proclivity to dream of the enigma he refers to as "Ball Lightning".
I'd now like to develop my hypothesis with plausible explanations that should withstand the rigors of harsh critique from those naysayers whose superficial observations obscures reasonable judgment.

I believe that what Lord Zane actually dreamed about was not "Ball Lightning", but instead, "St Elmo's Fire"!

An explanation is demanded;

["Ball Lightning"]-- is the mundane term use to describe the unexplainable spherically shaped luminescent anomalies that are infrequently seen floating above bodies of water. They have been observed in swamps, during large thunder storms, and in close proximity to Protozoa when they split. History tells us that "Ball Lightning" has actually been the cause of death for more than a few unlucky souls. All recorded accounts of the destructive nature of the phenomenon has led today's scientific community to postulate that it's cause is the indiscriminate combination of matter and energy.

["St Elmo's Fire"], on the other hand, has the reputable lineage of being the manifestation of St Erasmus of Formiae, (St Elmo), the patron saint of sailors.
As we all know, St Erasmus of Formiae was one of the original Fourteen Holy Helpers who survived his many tortures inflicted by Diocletian, a 2nd century Roman Emperor. Whenever St Elmo was on the very brink of death from his tortures, a bluish ball of light would appear and his captors would fall dead. He finally met his end when his captors wound his innards around a windlass. For some unknown reason sailors decided that when they see a bluish ball of light floating in their rigging, it must be St Elmo manifesting as an omen of fair weather. I guess the sailors figured that since St Elmo's fate was tied to a windlass, and the fact that they use windlasses on their ships, he would make a great patron saint.

Through exhausting research in a Good Housekeeping magazine, and the undisputable fact that Lord Zane is under seven feet tall, I think he is suffering from the "Moby Dick" complex!
Everyone has read Herman Melville's book "Moby-Dick", everyone except Lord Zane.

I feel that you, the reader, will now concur that the cumulative series of succinct facts I've just presented can only lead one to support my hypothesis about Lord Zane's "St Elmo's Fire" dream.
Let us then all agree that Lord Zane dreams of a life as a sailor who spends his days in the crow's nest, waiting patiently for St Elmo to appear so he can lift his proud head of black hair and scream into the wind, "The corpusants! the corpusants!"

May your rigging stay tight,
And may your women be loose!

HE Santiago