BVC - Alcohol humor (fwd)
Pug Bainter
pug at pug.net
Fri Nov 13 10:22:34 PST 1998
----- Forwarded message -----
New Proposed Warning Labels for Alcohol Bottles
13. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may make you think you are
whispering when you are not.
12. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like
an a$$hole.
11. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same
boring story over and over again until your friends want
to SMASH YOUR HEAD IN.
10. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings
like thish.
9. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that
ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at
4 in the morning.
8. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the
hell happened to your pants.
7. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the
morning and see something really scary (whose species
and/or name you can't remember).
6. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of
inexplicable rug burns on the forehead.
5. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you
are tougher, handsomer and smarter than some really,
really big guy named Chuck.
4. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you
are invisible.
3. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people
are laughing WITH you.
2. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause a flux in the
time-space continuum, whereby small (and sometimes large)
gaps of time may seem to disappear.
1. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may actually CAUSE pregnancy.
----- End of forwarded message -----
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