BVC - Alcohol humor (fwd)

Pug Bainter pug at pug.net
Fri Nov 13 10:22:34 PST 1998


----- Forwarded message -----

 New Proposed Warning Labels for Alcohol Bottles

13. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may make you think you are
             whispering when you are not.

12. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like
             an a$$hole.

11. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same
             boring story over and over again until your friends want
             to SMASH YOUR HEAD IN.

10. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings
             like thish.

 9. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that
             ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at
             4 in the morning.

 8. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the
             hell happened to your pants.

 7. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the
             morning and see something really scary (whose species
             and/or name you can't remember).

 6. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of
             inexplicable rug burns on the forehead.

 5. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you
             are tougher, handsomer and smarter than some really,
             really big guy named Chuck.

 4. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you
             are invisible.

 3. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people
             are laughing WITH you.

 2. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause a flux in the
             time-space continuum, whereby small (and sometimes large)
             gaps of time may seem to disappear.

 1. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may actually CAUSE pregnancy.

----- End of forwarded message -----
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