jonwillowpel: Re: ES - courtesy

[willow l herbert]

Many years ago a large group of my friends got very upset because people
in the know, not new comers, refused to call them by their titles. They
told me the kingdom had lost its magic for them. I can understand how
they felt because the same thing is happening to me. I counted the times
someone yelled "Hey. Willow " across the field this weekend. I was
addressed by first name without even a m'lady 23 times and none of them
were new comers. I had my court hat on with the strawberries leaves so
they should of known who and what I am. I can only guess that if they are
not using my titles they are not using anyone's. I was worried that they
were mad at me. The end result was that I wanted to put mundane clothes
on. I was not allowed to be in persona all weekend and I felt like a
pompous fool. All the magic was gone for me. If this keeps up I will no
longer go to SCA events.
I would not worry as much if I didn't know that some of this behavior has
a darker side. In recent times the crowns and the queens and the Knights
have lost the respect of the people. I noticed a trend for people to show
their displeasure by refusing to use titles. I have talked to many of
these people and they plan to continue expressing their unrest in this
fashion. I tried to explain to these individuals that the problems are
being solved. The Knights are doing a great job. Their consorts are
working on courtesy and honor. You can see Dukes and Counts helping
ladies with baskets, Our Crowns are trying to create atmosphere and our
recent Queens have worked very hard. I tried to convince these people
that now we should encourage this hard work by showing respect. I pointed
out that this behavior was leading others who were new to the kingdom not
to use titles. One of the people just laughed and said he was glad.  Now,
I know most people are not involved in this protest but whenever someone
doesn't use the proper titles there is always a question in my mind. 
This kingdom is like Tinker Bell. It is real because we believe. The use
of titles for everyone from M'lady and M'lord to His Majesty is a way to
show that we believe in Ansteorra and that the kingdoms persona is a
alive and well. Using a title doesn't mean we think that person is
somehow better than others. Using a title just means that we respect the
ideals that this kingdom was built on.
I would like to think the problem is being solved. But I have talked to
nobles and  officers and to the general populace and NO ONE SEEMS TO
CARE. It is OK to them that we are losing that special something that
made Ansteorra great. We are beginning to become a Dream kingdom like all
the other kingdoms. A club where we all wear costumes but don't do that
role playing stuff.
I know not using a title is trivial thing, but it is bothering me a lot.
I see it as the tip of the iceberg. I don't seem able to make a change
but if any of you can influence people to start using the courtesies
again I think it can help all of us because use of the formal courtesies
help us to remember the informal courtesies.

Thank You for listening to me.
Willow



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