ES - Are we welcoming enough?

Michelle Isabelle michellsmoon at
Tue May 26 17:32:57 PDT 1998

>Subject: Re: ES - Are we welcoming enough?

Being New in the SCA myself I am so glad that Lady Simone has taken me 
under her wing to help me in this new adventure. 
One of the first thing she told me was to address everyone as Lord and 
Lady until I have more knowlage to know the differace and I've not had 
any problems so far. 
Stepps Warlord was my third event and I had the best time.
Everyone was very welcoming and helpful. Still have a lot to learn 
but looking forward to getting to know more people. 

>M'Lady Caelin,
>Thank you for your kind response.
>On Sat, 16 May 1998 09:57:20 -0500 "Richard Threlkeld" <rjt at>
>>If I may attempt an answer, your Grace.
>>I am new enough to easily remember my first encounters with the 
>>SCA (and it was Elfsea).  You were, in fact, the second person 
>>I met and were exceptionally gracious.  
>>The problem you mention derives from the authority that a "brass hat" 
>>carries (and that seems even greater to the new player).  You might 
>>use that authority to ask someone to mentor the potential player 
>>the current event and ask the mentor to tell them about titles 
>>and such.  This would reduce the impact of being told you goofed 
>>up on addressing such a high person.  In fact, I was told something 
>>like that "She should be addressed as Your Grace, but don't 
>>worry about it.  We don't expect you to know such things until 
>>you've been in the SCA a little while.  Try calling everyone 
>>Lord or Lady when you don't know.  They won't take offence."
>>The mentor is there to answer the mirad of questions that a 
>>new player will ask.  Our social fabric is very complicated 
>>and requires some study.  After 1.5 years, I still need help 
>>with some of it.  Luckily, many are willing and gracious about 
>>providing it to me even though I am not still a new player.
>>Mentoring, by the way, teaches you a lot about our society.  Most 
>>of the questions are easily answered from your own experience, but 
>>some require you to ask others or research.  It also reminds you 
>>what new people want to know and what they need to learn quickly 
>>to enjoy the experience.
>>In service to the dream, Ansterroa, and Elfsea,
>>> -----Original Message-----
>>> From: owner-elfsea at Ansteorra.ORG 
>>[mailto:owner-elfsea at Ansteorra.ORG]On
>>> Behalf Of willow l herbert
>>> Sent: Monday, April 27, 1998 7:15 PM
>>> To: elfsea at Ansteorra.ORG
>>> Subject: Re: ES - Are we welcoming enough?
>>> Hi Gwennydd this is Willow
>>> I hope I wasn't the brass hat that told you that but If I was I am 
>>> for not putting it better. 
>>> This brings up a difficult question. If you were around a new person 
>>> they got their titles wrong you would probably try to give them
>>> information but as a brass hat if I try to give data (even if I try 
>>> explain it is OK) the person is often upset. If they find out later 
>>> they used the wrong title and I didn't tell them they are also upset 
>>. I
>>> get it coming and going. How would you deal with this situation?
>>> I believe that the courtesy and titles give a special air to our
>>> activities. I believe they do more than all the wall-hangings in the
>>> world in making the magic. Of course, in keeping with my 12th 
>>> background, I believe all should be greeted by their title. I 
>>received my
>>> Laurel after being in the SCA for 12 years without a single title. I 
>>> my Mistress but during those 12 years I would had died for a Lady. I 
>>> of many a person who is no longer in Elfsea because after they 
>>> their AOA no one greeted them as Lord or Lady. Most people work very 
>>> for whatever awards they have gotten and we should all respect them 
>>> their work. I known sometimes we don't agree that someone should get 
>>> award but we shouldn't take away from others that do deserve their
>>> awards. 
>>> I would like everyone to get used to using titles and doing the
>>> courtesies. People in the MIddle Ages didn't see them as a boundary 
>>> simply a social greeting.
>>> Willow
>>> >At one of my first fighter practices, I was told by a brass hat "My 
>>> >proper title 
>>> >is . . . "  I was crushed!  If I hadn't been stubborn, that 
>>> >would have 
>>> >stopped my playing altogether because of that.  But I'm more 
>>> >than I 
>>> >am shy, so I'm still here. ;-) o approach *you*!  
>>> >
>>> >Yours in service,
>>> >
>>> >Gwennydd of Dovey


Get Your Private, Free Email at
Go to to perform mailing list tasks.

More information about the Elfsea mailing list