ES - Need to make Amends

[Lady Neeve Drakesbane]

Semone, Long time  since I heard from you, please
contact me privately...Safe and Happy Journies ...Lady
Neeve

--- housedragonstar <housedragonstar at prodigy.net>
wrote:
> My Lady,
> You have taken the first and the hardest step.
> CONGRATULATIONS!
> May you have long and lasting happiness.
> 
> Dair  deHaya  of house Dragonstar.
>   ----- Original Message ----- 
>   From: Margaret Risher 
>   To: elfsea at ansteorra.org 
>   Sent: Monday, April 10, 2000 10:27 PM
>   Subject: ES - Need to make Amends
> 
> 
>   Unto the Populace of the Barony of Elfsea,
> 
>   Hail Do I Lady Simone Ui'Dunlainge send greetings.
> 
>   I write this to you all not just because it is the
> right thing to do, but also because I need to. For
> my recovery depends on it. 
>   I owe you all the members of Elfsea a living
> amends.  As I have been progressing in strengthening
> my foundation of recovery
>   I have had to look hard at the last few years, at
> were fear has kept me from from gettng to know many
> of you. or even letting 
>   many of you get to know me past a superficial
> level. my fear of getting close to people and having
> to move. ( i grew up in the service)
>   has kept me from getting to involved with most of
> you even though I care deeply for many of you. the
> fear of having to say good by be 
>   it founded or not has kept me at bay. For the
> first time in my life I am in a situation were
> moving out of the area is not a fact set in 
>   stone as it has been in the past. and for me this
> is forign ground. I have lived my life not letting
> others i care for get close to me. 
>   or letting them know what's going on with me.  in
> doing so I have denied myself the opertunity for
> some good frindships and 
>   denied you all the chance to get to know me. it is
> just now sinking in that i will be living here a
> long time. for the first time
>    I'll be setting down roots. This is a learning
> experiance for me because I have never build long
> lasting friendships. 
>   I've known people for long times as associates.
> True freindship is something I am just now learning
> about. 
>   To be honest this scares me senceless, and I need
> your help. I do not know how to build long lasting
> friendships. 
>   I do not know how to let others in and not run
> away and hide afterwards. to the point that this
> letter and 
>   others my sponcer has told me I need to write
> scare the wits out of me. There are many of you That
> i love and cherish, that I keep
>   in my prayers that I have never told out of fear.
> how near and dear they were.
> 
>   I am going to do my best to make a living amends
> to you all by learning to be a friend. by letting
> you all in the best I can. If I'm
>   messing up tell me. give me suggestions on how to
> be better. this is a learning process for me. one
> that i must do and it terrifies me,
> 
>   I love you all
> 
>   Lady Simone Ui'Dunlainghe
>   MKA Margaret Stevens
> 

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