ES - Heal Thyself first

[Lady Simone]

Very well written Xene,

I am compelled to add my insights, as being and old-timer in this Game. That
is what this is
a Game. one in which I have been involved with since I was 10. One that has
been as instrumental
in saving my life as AA and NA have been and are today. many of you in this
kingdom do not know
the type of person I was when I entered the Society. I want to share with
you  a view of the society
from my past and how it has effected my life. in the story bellow "you"
incases all those in the
society that were there at the time

It was the summer of 1979 I was 10 years old. in the grip of Alcoholism and
Drug addiction. I had no
care or concern for my self let alone others. I was a thug, liar, cheat and
a thief. I had not respect
for my parents let alone authority or myself. Though I was a retch you
reached out. you thought me
the meaning of Honor and trust, and as I grew to understand the values held
and started to practice them
in the safety of The society I came to believe them and practice them in my
daily life.
The change was gradual, and through it you encouraged and supported me. you
helped me become ready for the help
I was to receive mundanely 5 years after I joined the society. I went into
Drug and Alcohol rehab.
you were there with letters and support. At a time in my life when I had no
family to turn to because of my actions
while drinking and using drugs. you Nurtured and led me as parents.  When I
went to my Half-way house
you encouraged my Sobriety and the changes I had to make to learn how to
live sober and Clean.
You visited and held demos at the halfway house helping and encouraging the
lives of not only myself
but other teenager with my problem. There was love tolerance and concern by
you. You were there in the worst
of my life and helped nurture me through the storm to the other side. you
have been there every year when I receive
my Sobriety Birthday Chips, you've continued to encourage me to grow. Today
I have been clean and sober a
little over 15 years. I owe you a debit I can never fully repay. Because
with AA; NA; and you in the SCA I have a new life today. I was saved from
hell of addiction and have found freedom.  I become saddened when I see
internal contrivers and strife tearing at the fabric of you who mean so much
to me and my life.----end of story


I have seen our Society grow and change. I have seen this kingdom Grow and
Change. Sometimes the change has been good. sometimes the change has been
not so good.  yet in recent years I have watched the dream decay and it
saddens my heart.
I have seen a group I love being torn apart by internal strife, petty
politics, personal ego's and
selfish agendas and ambitions. by people in all ranks more willing to Pass
the blame, and not
take on responsibility for themselves. By the spreading of Gossip and
Unfounded roomers.
by individuals more concerned with what they can Get or Achieve, than by
what they can give or teach.
By individuals that hold onto resentment of the past, not willing to forgive
or acknowledge situations change.

It has not always been like this, and I can not pen point exactly when the
problem started. And truthful
that is not at this time important. what is important is that we acknowledge
that there is a problem, and
instead of continually complaining about the problem or trying to sweep it
under the table. WE start working
looking at and working on a solution. We stop looking at blame and start
concentration of what we can do to fix
the problem as a whole. We are a society of loving and caring individuals.
People with Strengths and weaknesses. From the lowest to the highest, from
Popper to crown, yet we are still people with human frailties and strengths.
were going to make mistakes. we are going to have differences of Opinion. we
are going to occasionally hurt each others feelings. we are human.

We Need to look at ourselves. at our own Part as individuals. then we need
to look at our own part as part of Households, groups guilds and circles in
our society. then look at our own part in relation to our kingdom. Have we
been holding onto resentments. Has fear caused inaction or us to be
overly-cautious. Have we been expecting to much from the people around us,
from our Peers, Nobles, Lions and Crown. Have we ignored inappropriate
conduct and enabled it to continue because of a persons Rank, title or
reputation. Have we continued to spread roomers. have we reached our goals
by scarifying the dream for others.
Were have we been selfish and self centered. Do we strive for awards and
title for the power it is to give us, or because we are willing to accept
the responsibility and service that comes with it. We need to look at were
we have been intolerant of others. we need to look at ourselves honestly,
and take responsibility were we were wrong. Then without pointing fingers we
need to  repair were we have caused damage to others and the society.

We need to deal honestly with each other. Tell each other how we feel and
why. We need to work together to better our kingdom and society in unity.
Not striving for positions or recognition for the power you may gain. stop
looking at the peerage , noble and crowns in a selfish light of OOOHHH look
at what power I can have from getting this. and recognize them for what they
are positions of service with responsibilities to the society and Kingdom.
Look at how you can help and support them in there positions of leadership
and service. Allow them the room to be human and make mistakes.

We are here to Have fun, the society is something to dear to all of us. let
us work to make it better not let it decay

Lady Simone Maurian Ui'Dunlainghe

Baroness Xene here,

It is my belief that the discussion of declining memberships and pay-to-play
are just a symptom of a greater problem within the Society for Creative
Anachronism. Like any group, we are bound to have some internal strife and
factionalism, but it has become the mainstay and topic of discussion in most
of the groups throughout the Known World.


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