Fwd: Re: ES - Lady Fighters

[Andra Barrow]

> "Lizard
> Brain" are the lower order functioning areas of the brain, like the
> brain stem and the limbic system (which is responsable for neurologic
> hormones, etc.)   The true lizard brain is instinctive.  The appropriate
> term here is enculturation, which is a traind reflex reflex rather than
> instinct.

<snip>

>         The characterization is accurate, but I take issue with the
> terminology.

Actually, the term you are looking for is "Reptile Brain". "Lizard Brain"
is a term we have adopted to personify the issues we face psychologically
as female fighters.  It's not a standard "psych" term.
 
> > Briefly they are:
> > 
> > 1) Getting out on the field: Women spend on the average 7 times
> > longer, getting the armor together than men. No matter how much help
> > they receive, they will not go to the field until the battle between
>         What I've seen is that barring a sponsor, women don't tend to
> get
> positive reinforcement.  Even if there is no discouragement, a man in
> that situation will get calls about the regular armoring workshops,
> suggestions about armoring merchants, etc.  
>         Men tend to be encouraged to fight, whereas women are simply
> accepted.

I'll agree with you there that that is often the case but there are other
issues at work that, even with all the positive reinforcement in the
world, will still sometimes cause a woman to take longer to get into
armour than a corresponding male.  Having things like Ironrose and women's
fighter classes and tournies and The Armoured Rose and such help a lot
with overcoming both of those things.

> > matter). The conversation with the Lizard Brain goes something like
> > YOU'VE BEEN HIT YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED. I'm fighting, I'm supposed to
> > be hit, it's ok. NO, YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED. 
>         I would argue that it's a matter of familiarity and comfort.  In
> a
> counter example, cooking, when my mom screwed up a meal, she was a bit
> ticked, but when my father does, it puts him in a funk.
>         Men are used to losing at contact sports, and women are not.

It's not even that. Duchess Elina puts it aptly: For boys 95% of their
physical contact is in comraderie and play (because they are encouraged to
play contact sports and rough and tumble) where 95% of the physical
contact girls get is in punishment. That isn't to say that girls are
punished more often than boys but that the *proportion* of the different
types of physical contact are way skewed by gender. It's not a matter of
losing at a contact sport, sometimes being struck suddenly in combat may
dredge up the usual response to being hit (in punishment) and a female
fighter may burst into tears of shame without even consciously
understanding why she's crying. It is totally not a rational response but
it gets easier to handle once one realizes what it is.

> --snip--
> > 4) I can't do this: This is a particularly vicious one. Every fighter
>         I think that a lot of this is caused by the subtle lack of
> encouragement that women fighters receive.
>         It should be noted that frustration is a major part of much of
> the
> learning process, and I have seen no small number of male fighters drop
> weapons forms because they couldn't make through this stage.

It's more than that.  It's more like an internalized "I'm not supposed to
be doing this" therefore problems encountered along the way merely
reinforce the "I can't do this" issue. Again, it's easier to get past once
recognized.

> [[CC:ed to the author]]

The author is Duchess Elina of Beckenham and I have CC:'d here on this
reply.  I appreciate your feedback on the article (which is in the process
of rewrite even now with updated info) as I'm sure Her Grace does as well.
You really need to get hold of a copy of The Armored Rose and read the
whole thing to get a proper grasp of what was begun with the article on
the Ironrose site. Most women who have encountered this book have agreed
that they have indeed had many of those problems and have been helped by
being made aware of them and by being able to personify them apart from
their own psyches. "Having a lizard problem" is simply that and
externalizing it means that a woman who has that sort of issue to work on
does not feel that she is a failure personally for having it. There are
certainly exceptions to all of this and a few women who've never had the
sorts of problems discussed in the article and book, but for the most part
it has been a huge help.

Grainne

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