ES - Single Parenting WAS -- ST - Glass Beadmaking Open Studio Night

[Christine Fink]

Buenos Dias!

I've watched this thread for the last couple of days. As a single parent 
myself, I must comment:

Lord Caerell:
As Ameline said she meant no offense. She is right about *some* dad's not 
getting involved. Children really look up to our lords in this kingdom. Take 
Ryan, my son, for example. He worships the ground that the heavy and light 
fighters walk on. Unfortunately, their mundane father does not spend any 
time with either of them and they are both craving male attention. If you 
watch Diane around Phelippe, you can see she just adores him because he pays 
attention to her. Ameline just wants to see more of our lords get involved 
with entertaining our children. Don't do arts and crafts? Teach them about 
the martial arts. At Queen's Champion, the lord running the children's area 
(I don't remember his name) taught the children military marches and 
strategy...they just loved it!  As far as your parenting, you are to be 
commended! There are not too many fathers who are willing to do what you 
have done and do it as well as you have done. I have always enjoyed the 
company of your sons.

To the Barony:
Please don't come down too hard on Lord Caerell. Being a single parent is 
still not easy in this mundane society. Though there have been many 
improvements in our mundane society, there are still many social stigmas and 
labels against single parenting. I always feel that I am under a magnifying 
glass when it comes to my parenting skills bacause I am a single parent. 
Therefore, I always feel that I have to prove I am a good parent. I know I'm 
not the only single parent out there who feels the same (I used to belong to 
Parents without Partners and this was a topic we covered one night and 
nearly everyone agreed with these statements). I don't know about Lord 
Carell, but I joined the SCA because I wanted an activity we could do as a 
family. The SCA has become a way for me to escape these mundane social 
stigmas, forget my financial situtation and forget about my ex-spouse. I'm 
not saying that being a parent with a spouse is any less difficult, just 
that as single parents we are looked upon differently and sometimes more 
harshly.

I aplogize if I have angered anyone, but I it kills me to see our lords and 
ladies angry at each other. Everyone here in our Barony has become like 
family to me and I care very deeply for all of you.

Maria



----Original Message Follows----
Dear Laird Caerell,
    I take no offence at your comment YOU are taking up your parental 
responsibility.I am sorry you have been hurt by my comment,it is to the 
parents who are not helping,<I'm sure they just forget>.I am making 
reference to.In all the children's activities I have done I always see one 
to six moms help or at least checking on their kids.In that whole time I 
have had three fathers......three, help with their kids.This is a huge 
difference in numbers.Kids get so much from male influences I would like to 
see more dads helping me.Again I am so sorry if my words caused you to stop 
coming to moot,but I feel I can not change how I feel about the lack of male 
influence at the MOC level.My office will be up for grabs soon feel free to 
take it up and you might see what I mean.If you would like to speak with me 
in privet my e-mail is at the bottom.Or call me my number is in the scroll.

 >It is like saying that just because I am not a Woman I can't do a good job 
raising my two boys, and that >is BULL!

Caerell,
   I think men are great with kids.That's why I want their input and 
help.When men interact with kids they often mind better and listen better .I 
hope you can hear the true respect I have for fathers next time I speak and 
not take offence.

Lady Ameline Du Bois - Ameline at generich.com
Elfsea Minister of Children
Protege to Master Richard Fairbourne
Ansteorra

   ----- Original Message -----
   From: Laird Caerell MacDomnaill
   To: elfsea at ansteorra.org
   Sent: Thursday, October 05, 2000 1:09 AM
   Subject: Re: ES - RE: ST - Glass Beadmaking Open Studio Night


   I TAKE OFFENSE TO THESE STATEMENTS!!!!!

   As a Single Parent (FATHER) and pretty much the only prarent my two boys 
have known, I feel it makes light of what I do every day!

   YES, IT IS VERY SEXIST!

   It is like saying that just because I am not a Woman I can't do a good 
job raising my two boys, and that is BULL!

   Please stop using this saying, It grates on my nerves everytime I hear 
it.
   This is one of the reasons that I don't like Elfsea Moot as I am sure to 
hear it from the Minister of Children.

   Yes I agree that many spouses leave the raising of children up to only 
one of the parents, BUT it is not always the Father that is running off to 
Fighter practice.

   It is like saying that just because I am not a Woman I can't do a good 
job raising my two boys, and that is BULL!

   MacDomnaill
   Single Parent of Two Teenagers
     ----- Original Message -----
     From: Ameline Dubois
     To: elfsea at ansteorra.org
     Sent: Wednesday, October 04, 2000 2:01 PM
     Subject: Re: ES - RE: ST - Glass Beadmaking Open Studio Night


     Xene said....
     >
     > *****WARNING**** EDITORIAL OBSERVATION OF SCA
     > FAMILIES***************WARNING****************
     > I have found that many fathers can find time to go to fighter 
practice(s),
     > but they can't always find the time to watch the children when the 
mothers
     > want to do something creative (Yes, I'm being sexist, and yes, I do
     > communicate this with my own husband).
     > **********************************************
     >
     > Good Luck and happy bead making.

     Fathers are parents too!!!!
     Lady Ameline Du Bois - Ameline at generich.com
     Elfsea Minister of Children
     Protege to Master Richard Fairbourne
     Ansteorra

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