[Elfsea] The constant battle with Chaos

[Vicki Marsh]

Xene here:

After my divorce, I had a good friend counsel me to work very hard to keep
my house clean, my cat's litter box cleaned out, my yard mowed, and try to
keep my bills paid - just in case my ex decided to call CPS on me.  As far
as I know, he never did, but....I tried to be prepared.

But it also taught me a lesson about keeping my life in order.  While I am
*not* a Martha Stewart or a Mrs. Cleaver, I have learned the advantages of
keeping my home clean - I am much happier in a fairly clean house.  It
doesn't have to be perfect, but keeping the general chaos and clutter down
is a healthy thing. Keeping the trash taken out is also good:)

Why does this have anything to do with CPS or people who abuse their
children?  Many times, severely filthy homes are a symptom of mental
illness - alcohol and drugs play a big part in this as well.  I *know* this
as I have had problems with depression from time to time, and one of the
first symptoms is when I quit taking care of the house. Then the mess of the
house makes me even more depressed.  The kids add to the mess constantly and
that makes me angry at them.......It can lead to a whirlpool of emotions
that could lead to abusive or neglective behavior.  I also understand
alcoholism and drug abuse, as I have a family history of that.

What does this have to do with the SCA?  Why are messy houses so typical of
us?  We are a bunch of pack rats and bargain hunters.  We like to get out of
the house every weekend and most weeknights, or be into one project or
another to the exclusion of all other things.  What happens to our homes
when we do this?  Entropy wins.... Chaos and trash pile up, and it becomes
an overwhelming task to deal with, especially if your physical or mental
health is marginal.

So how do you dig ourselves out of the mess?  List your priorities in life,
set your attainable goals, then attack one small corner of your life or home
at a time.  Sometimes, just cleaning a small room like the bathroom is a
great way to start.  Teach your children to help clean up their own messes.
Spouses, too (that's the harder part).  Learn how to ask for help when you
need it.  I clean house better when I have a goal, such as having a meeting
or a party.  It's also easier when you have a friend help keep you company
while you clean.  Then you trade off and go over to their house.

And when it's tourney season or Gulf Wars is next week?  Spend an extra hour
doing the dishes, cleaning out the dead stuff in the fridge and taking out
the trash.  That way when you get home exhausted and your car pukes all it's
contents into the living room on Sunday afternoon, you have a day or two to
deal with the dirty clothes and feast gear, then re-pack for the next
weekend.  The added benefit of cleaning *before* the event is that you won't
be hit in the face with that week-old funk of stinky trash and dishes when
you walk in the door after Gulf Wars!!  Ewwww....

Well, it's time for me to do laundry and help get Llywelyn ready for
Pennsic.

In Service,

Xene







-----Original Message-----
From: elfsea-admin at ansteorra.org [mailto:elfsea-admin at ansteorra.org]On
Behalf Of Terri Head
Sent: Monday, August 06, 2001 10:14 AM
To: elfsea at ansteorra.org
Subject: Re: [Elfsea] need to hire housecleaning help


Amen Rebekah!!!!! Same goes for policemen, but that's a totally different
subject. Considering all the sickos that CPS TRIES to protect children from,
and the uphill battle they wage to get pedifiles and physically abusive
people behind bars (only to have judges and lawyers {granted I work for a
lawyer} legally manuver them back into society) We should thank CPS workers
for the thankless job that they do in trying their hardest to put perps
away. It isn't CPS's fault that anyone gets called on. Blame it on your evil
neighbors, or vindictive exs that think reporting people to get back at them
is "good revenge". THESE are the people who should get your grief. NOT those
who are just doing their job.

Violet