ES - Children at events (LONG POST)

Karie Mitchell allessandre at hotmail.com
Mon Feb 19 11:22:56 PST 2001


Greetings Elfsea!

Since the occurrences at the Pythian Home, there has been much discussion 
about children and their activities at events.  Although I am not a parent 
in full measure (I have a stepson and one on the way), I am hoping to share 
some insights I have based on my own experience.  I hope people will find 
something of value there:

1. Children are primarily the parent's responsibility.

When taking children to events please try to judge how much time various 
activities will take.  If you expect it to be a "working weekend", perhaps 
it would be best if the child stays home.  If you do decide to bring them to 
the event, help them to entertain themselves.  Let them bring a "toybox" of 
their favorite games and activities, perhaps some snacks they can fix 
themselves.  (Please label everything!)

Make sure they know the rules for the site (and make sure you do too) as 
well as any personal restrictions you make on them.  Also, if they are 
particularly young, or you particularly need to keep an eye on them, give 
them bright clothing or a tabard blazoned in your colors.  Not only will you 
be able to identify them, but a good herald will be able to as well ;)

2. Attending Children's Activities

I would like to see us have sign-up lists for the Children's Activities, 
with the MOC covering only those that she (or he) are _willing_ to cover.  
And if they don't get filled, we may need to have CA close for that hour.  
Also, we should move Children's Activities a lot closer to the "Parents" 
Activities.  As a last-desperate measure, I might suggest we have a cap on 
the number of children who can participate in Children's Activities per 
adult willing to help out(ex: if only 1 teacher, only 10 kids in CA).

3. Fostering or making a page of your child

If people want to start a formal organization of "page school" I don't have 
a problem.  However, unless you require a more strict adherence to the 
program/rules, I am concerned that it would be treated just like Children's 
Activities.  Individual fostering or page works more easily in the current 
framework.  And such relationships exist.  Informally, Arnbjorn (Xene's son) 
is Galen's page.  There isn't much to it, except when they feel like doing 
something together.  Arnbjorn has occasionally helped Galen to arm or put 
armour away, and Galen has offered advice to Arnbjorn when he's needed it.

Some relationships are more formal and for them it works.  I think this 
especially works for older (tween and teen) children as it gives them a 
chance to "work" in the SCA, and begin playing the game.  Especially if they 
are maintaining a relationship with someone who is not a parent.  Children 
do seem to listen to others more than their parents sometimes :)

4. Hiring a Babysitter/Nanny/Au Pair

I believe this is the most difficult problem.  When you hire someone to do 
this job, I think first you should set clear limits on what they will be 
doing and when.  If you need them to watch a child during your circle, 
specify how long and if it runs over, leave, or send someone to let the 
babysitter know that you will be late.  And offer a bonus if it is a 
particularly onery event.

One of the biggest problems that I see is when someone has been hired to 
watch a child and the child wants to go play.  Then along come several other 
children and they play together, but no one is responsible for the other 
children.  In this case, I think the babysitter should be instructed to tell 
the other children, "I'm sorry but I need written permission from your 
parent that you are allowed to play unsupervised."  The babysitter is only 
responsible for the children s/he was hired for.  S/he does not need to take 
on additional responsibilities unless it is specifically requested (and 
arranged).

Sorry it's such a long post.  I hope people find a few good ideas among the 
assortment.

Ciao,
Alessandra
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