[Elfsea] FW: [NR] Press Release: RE: WE'VE BEEN CHALKED

[P. Crandal Polk]

> Subject: [NR] Press Release: RE: WE'VE BEEN CHALKED
>
> For Immediate Release:
>
> ###
>
>     Alexander Ravenshaw Here, President and Founder of "Honest Alex's
> Wholesale Sidewalk Chalk, Inc." with a brief statement on today's news.

snip

>     4. Anyone who believes Lutfisk is a valid food will be denied service on
> principle.
>     Again, we thank you for your patronage and look forward to serving the
> populace in the future.

I am known for my calm and passive demeanor, but enough is enough.

Lutefisk is a fine dish. Those gentle people who have eaten and enjoyed
this wonderful dish are being unfairly ostracized by this supplier of
malicious chalk.

I, therefore, am calling for a wide spread chalk amnesty, where all
chalk that is "discovered" to be in your possession, can be turned in
without question, on the condition that you eat a bowl of delicious
Lutefisk.

Crandall