[Elfsea] courtesy in debate

[Timothy Rayburn]

Timothy Said :
>> Unto Lady Innes and all others who had deemed it necessary to make
>> statements like this.

Asa Said :
>Cordially, respectfully and in good faith - Dear Timothy, many people have
>said this to parks in Ft. Worth, with greater condemnation and more loudly
>than Lady Innez's reply -

And you will note that my missive included "and all others who deemed it necessary to make statements like this."

>And your reply about the Loch Ruadh Fighter being the "western" practice
>could have sounded very sarcastictic and demeaning.  And though it was said
>to me, it could have been considered very cutting.  But I took it in good
>faith that it was meant as a discussion.

My reply regarding the Loch Ruadh practice was different in many ways.  First, I made clear that it was humor.
Second, It was a constructive comment regarding the idea of a western practice that sought to inform the list that there already was a monthly western practice.
Third and finally, I never once said I "would not attend" a practice in the western reaches of the Barony.


>Everyone feels deeply about this - it is very hard not to feel picked on or
>try to defend your favorite.  Adult debate is how one win's others to their
>side or is convinced that the other person's view is better.  Both have equal
>merit and rights to discussion.

I could not agree more.  My point is simply this.  Comments that state something like "Cedar Hill is outside the baony of Elfsea's lands." is constructive, and part of Adult debate.  But comments like "I will not go to a practice at X" are part of a child's tactics, not an adults.  This is like the child saying "I won't play with you anymore if you don't give me my way".  I wholeheartedly support Adult debate, what I was requesting in my post, and still am requesting despite how unpopular I knew it would be, is that we drop the childish tactics.

>Courtesy is extremely important.  No one has regressed to name calling or any
>other childish response.  All aspects are being thougoughly looked into
>(especially thanks to Mistress Xene and others who have physically gone out
>to these parks).

Courtesy and Honesty are obviously very important.  People should be courteous, and I feel I was in my post on this matter.  But you should not mistake, as is done so often in our country these days, courtesy with not ever offending anyone.  I knew going in that there would be those upset by my post, but that does not make the point less valid.  There was nothing personal about the missive, no personal attacks targetted at one individual alone.  I did mention Lady Innes by name, but only because I was quoting her words as what was the most recent example of this behavior.

Let us all come together this evening at Moot, and let us discuss this proposal.  Let us all be ready to compromise, as very few will get exactly what they desire from this change, and the rest will have to be open to try what the concensus believes is the best choice.  Ultimatums and threats of non-attendance are not constructive.

Timothy