[Elfsea] An informative history lesson....

[Christine Huse]

<chuckle> Thanks Arabella! Those remind me of a list my mother sent me
acouple of years ago, but they were answers from a Catholic private school.
One that I remembered was:

The conception of Christ was called the Immaculate Conception

If I find the rest, I'll send them on to the list
Maria



>
>Since things hsve been so serious laterly I thought we needed a Historical
>laugh.  Pendaran sent these to me today, I thank him very much I needed a
>good laugh.
>
> >I don't know if these are real or made up, but they're funny!
> >-Brian
> >
> >The following were answers provided by 6th graders during a history
>test.
> >Watch the spelling! Some of the best humour is in the misspelling.
> >
> >1. Ancient Egypt was inhabited by mummies and they all wrote in
> >hydraulics. They lived in the Sarah Dessert. The climate of the Sarah is
> >such  that all the inhabitants have to live elsewhere.
> >
> >2. Moses led the Hebrew slaves to the Red Sea where they made  unleavened
> >bread, which is bread made without any ingredients. Moses went up on
>Mount
> >Cyanide to get the Ten Commandments.  He died before he ever reached
> >Canada.
> >
> >3. Solomon had three hundred wives and seven hundred  porcupines.
> >
> >4. The Greeks were a highly sculptured people, and without them we
> >wouldn't have history. The Greeks also had myths. A myth is a female
>moth.
> >
> >5. Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around giving people
> >advice. They killed him. Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock. After
> >his  death, his career suffered a dramatic decline.
> >
> >6. In the Olympic games, Greeks ran races, jumped, hurled biscuits,  and
> >threw the java.
> >
> >7. Julius Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields of Gaul.  The
> >Ides of March murdered him because they thought he was going to be made
> >king. Dying, he gasped out: "Tee hee, Brutus."
> >
> >8. Joan of Arc was burnt to a steak and was canonized by Bernard  Shaw.
> >
> >9. Queen Elizabeth was the "Virgin Queen." As a queen she was a  success.
> >When she exposed herself before her troops they all shouted  "hurrah."
> >
> >10. It was an age of great inventions and discoveries.   Gutenberg
>invented
> >removable type and the Bible. Another important invention was  the
> >circulation of blood. Sir Walter Raleigh is a historical figure because
>he
> >invented cigarettes and started smoking. Sir Francis Drake circumsized
>the
> >world  with a 100-foot clipper.
> >
> >11. The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William Shakespeare.  He
>was
> >born in the year 1564, supposedly on his birthday. He never made much
> >money and is famous only because of his plays. He wrote tragedies,
> >comedies, and  hysterectomies, all in Islamic pentameter. Romeo and
>Juliet
> >are an example of a  heroic couple.
> >
> >12. Writing at the same time as Shakespeare was Miguel Cervantes. He
>wrote
> >Donkey Hote. The next great author was John Milton. Milton wrote Paradise
> >Lost. Then his wife died and he wrote Paradise Regained.
> >
> >13. Delegates from the original 13 states formed the Contented  Congress.
> >Thomas Jefferson, a Virgin, and Benjamin Franklin were two singers of
>the
> >Declaration of Independence. Franklin discovered electricity by rubbing
>two
> >cats backward and declared, "A horse divided against itself cannot
>stand."
> >Franklin died in 1790 and is still dead.
> >
> >14. Abraham Lincoln became America's greatest Precedent.   Lincoln's
>mother
> >died in infancy, and he was born in a log cabin which he built  with his
> >own hands. Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves by signing the Emasculation
> >Proclamation. On the night of April 14, 1865, Lincoln went to the theater
> >and  got shot in his seat by one of the actors in a moving picture show.
> >They believe  the assinator was John Wilkes Booth, a supposingly insane
> >actor. This ruined  Booth's career.
> >
> >15. Johann Bach wrote a great many musical compositions and had a  large
> >number of children. In between he practiced on an old spinster which he
> >kept up in his attic. Bach died from 1750 to the present. Bach was the
>most
> >famous composer in the world and so was Handel. Handel was half German,
> >half  Italian, and half English. He was very large.
> >
> >16. Beethoven wrote music even though he was deaf. He was so deaf he
>wrote
> >loud music. He took long walks in the forest even when everyone was
> >calling for him. Beethoven expired in 1827 and later died for this.
> >
> >17. The nineteenth century was a time of a great many thoughts and
> >inventions. People stopped reproducing by hand and started reproducing by
> >machine. The invention of the steamboat caused a network of rivers to
> >spring up.  Cyrus McCormick invented the McCormick raper, which did the
> >work of a hundred  men.
> >
> >18. Louis Pasteur discovered a cure for rabbits.
> >
> >19. Charles Darwin was a naturalist who wrote the Organ of the  Species.
> >
> >20. Madman Curie discovered the radio.
> >
> >21. Karl Marx became one of the Marx Brothers.
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
>_______________________________________________
>Elfsea mailing list
>Elfsea at ansteorra.org
>http://www.ansteorra.org/mailman/listinfo/elfsea




Hospitaler for the Lord and Lady of Elfsea

http://mariadevasquez.homestead.com/index.html


_________________________________________________________________
Join the world’s largest e-mail service with MSN Hotmail.
http://www.hotmail.com