[Elfsea] off topic but amusing-
Betsy Marshall
betsy at softwareinnovation.com
Mon Jul 1 12:12:17 PDT 2002
sorry for the relay, but these I think are worth it..
stole 'em from the cooks list- apologies if these are old to you.
Pyro
caution- many puns ahead!!!
Useful English System conversions/units:
Ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter = Eskimo Pi
2.4 miles of Yale University Hospital intravenous tubing =
one I.V. League
2000 pounds of Chinese soup = Won Ton
1 millionth of an ounce mouthwash = 1 microscope
Speed of a tortoise breaking the sound barrier = Mach Turtle (soup)
Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile per hour=knot-furlong
365.25 days of drinking low-calorie beer = 1 lite year
16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone = 1 Rod Sterling
Surgically altered large intestine = 1 semicolon
1,000,000 aches = 1 megahertz
Weight an evangelist carries with God = 1 billigram
Basic unit of laryngitis = 1 hoarsepower
Shortest distance between two jokes = a straight line
Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement =
1 bananosecond
453.6 graham crackers = 1 pound cake
If "a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step," the first
step of a one-mile journey = 1 Milwaukee
Useful Metric Conversions:
1 million microphones = 1 megaphone
1 million bicycles = 2 megacycles
365.25 days = 1 Unicycle
500 millionaires = 1 seminary
2000 mockingbirds = two kilomockingbirds
10 cards = 1 decacards
1 kilogram of falling figs = 1 Fig Newton
1000 grams of wet socks = 1 Liter Hosen
1 millionth of a fish = 1 microfiche
1 trillion pins = 1 terrapin
1 million billion picolos = 1 gigolo
10 rations = 1 decoration
100 rations = 1 C-ration
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