[Elfsea] off topic but amusing-

[Betsy Marshall]

sorry for the relay, but these I think are worth it..

stole 'em from the cooks list- apologies if these are old to you.
Pyro

caution- many puns ahead!!!




Useful English System conversions/units:

Ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter = Eskimo Pi

2.4 miles of Yale University Hospital intravenous tubing =
one I.V. League

2000 pounds of Chinese soup = Won Ton

1 millionth of an ounce mouthwash = 1 microscope

Speed of a tortoise breaking the sound barrier = Mach Turtle (soup)

Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile per hour=knot-furlong

365.25 days of drinking low-calorie beer = 1 lite year

16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone = 1 Rod Sterling

Surgically altered large intestine = 1 semicolon

1,000,000 aches = 1 megahertz

Weight an evangelist carries with God = 1 billigram

Basic unit of laryngitis = 1 hoarsepower

Shortest distance between two jokes = a straight line

Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement =
1 bananosecond

453.6 graham crackers = 1 pound cake

If "a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step," the first
step of a one-mile journey = 1 Milwaukee

Useful Metric Conversions:
1 million microphones = 1 megaphone

1 million bicycles = 2 megacycles

365.25 days = 1 Unicycle

500 millionaires = 1 seminary

2000 mockingbirds = two kilomockingbirds

10 cards = 1 decacards

1 kilogram of falling figs = 1 Fig Newton

1000 grams of wet socks = 1 Liter Hosen

1 millionth of a fish = 1 microfiche

1 trillion pins = 1 terrapin

1 million billion picolos = 1 gigolo

10 rations = 1 decoration

100 rations = 1 C-ration