[Elfsea] 'Young Ones'

Rhodes-walden, Jennifer Jennifer.Rhodes-walden at usa.xerox.com
Wed Oct 30 11:40:09 PST 2002

Please pardon while I toss my hat into this particular ring... but would
like to offer the following for consideration. Forgive me, please, if it
comes out badly - what I want to say is not directed at any one person, but
more for all of us.

As members of the Barony, each and every person who comprises the populace
*should be able* to freely express their opinions, offer their ideas and
speak to any topic without starting any sort of fire. Key words here being
'should be able.'  I do realize it doesn't always work like this - I'm
certainly not that naïve.

But there are ways to stop these conflagrations before they start... either
by reviewing what is typed before the fateful send button is sent and there
is no retrieval of your words, or else by taking the initiative to contact
the sender OFF-LIST to request clarification of a specific statement before
responding in a way that can escalate tensions. We're all so quick to jump
to conclusions that very probably are not intended to inflame, insult or
denigrate anyone, but that person isn't always aware that their choice of
words may prove offensive. I am most certainly guilty of this crime (jumping
the gun to being offended) and freely admit it, but an 'old player' wisely
suggested the above course to me, because I *am* a 'young one,' with less
than a year's tenure.

So often, we type exactly as we speak, and our tones and inflections cannot
be adequately conveyed via this medium. And if you don't know that person
very well, there's all kinds of room for misunderstanding. Lord knows I've
gotten my feelings hurt a time or three because someone else has been - in
my perception - careless in their response and so made a comment that I
found offensive. In retrospect, however, I'm fairly sure this person not
only did not intend to offend me, but probably hasn't the faintest idea that
I was offended.

I guess all I'm saying is that perhaps we all need to be a little more
cognizant of what we write and a little less sensitive when we read,
regardless of topic... myself profoundly included.

That being said, thanks for letting me throw in my two cents.


-----Original Message-----
From: CE Huse/Lady Maria Cabeca de Vaca [mailto:cehuse at sbcglobal.net]
Sent: Wednesday, October 30, 2002 1:08 PM
To: elfsea at ansteorra.org
Subject: Re: [Elfsea] 'Young Ones'

Very well said, Donnel and Caelin.

Might I add one more thing....I am even newer to this game than all 3 of
you....heck, I see it that I'm still the baby out of this whole group. ;-)
But, I do agree with all of you. Yes, the newer people have a right to an
opnion on how things change on a variety of subjects. But, us "younger"
people must respect "elders".  Donnel is one of our founding members and we
need to respect her, as well as the other founding members of this Barony.

Timothy, I understand your sense of frustration...I've been there too. But
as Galen once told me...you can't push a rope. Change sometimes takes time.
There are alot of things here in the Barony that I would like to see changed
(maybe for the better), but the trick is to do it subtly (as Donnel told me
once)...not throw a temper tantrum over what I see as a minor comment.


----- Original Message -----
> "Ok, I've now had a button pushed."
> You pushed my button yesterday on me about age and I didn't get upset and
> scream on  here like you are now.
> You are talking about getting new people in here but you stated.
> "That said, we are a group in need of new people right now.  It does not
> help our organization for those who have been playing to strike down new
> ideas simply because they come from someone 'new'."
> You need to stop striking down old ideas and opinions because they come
> the older players. Elfsea need the new players but they also need the
> ones too and if you keep trying to run us off the ones left are going to
> really give you a race. I am here and I am will staying. Just like some of
> the others that are still here. We are here for our group to  help and
> any way we can. That means working together with thought and reason.
> "Comments like the ones above imply that your opinion counts only if you
> a "long term player", and this should not, and is not, true."
> Comments like yours implies  that mine do not count because I am a long
> player.
> You may not have noticed but I usually stay on the side lines and watch
> new people. When I see them I jump up and start talking to them. Make them
> feel confortable. Get them to the people they need to get with. Get them
> adress and phone # or get theirs and pass it on to who needs it. I am and
> aways will be a champion of the new people. Even when I lived in La I was
> doing this at Elfsea events.
> You keep getting on here and stating this is just for discussion and then
> when others disagree with you try and push them over with verbiage. Your
> opinion is welcome but respect the others as well. If you would like to
> discuss this at a later date in person you are welcome.
> Donnel Shaw
> Ly Maili Donnel MacGregor
> Founder of the Barony of Elfsea
> Holder of the order of the Ant of Elfsea
> Holder of a comet for Elfsea
> Past Hospitaler of Elfsea
> Pre K
> Bray
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Timothy Rayburn [mailto:timothy at elfsea.net]
> Sent: Wednesday, October 30, 2002 10:53 AM
> To: elfsea at ansteorra.org
> Subject: [Elfsea] 'Young Ones'
> >Remember that all you "young ones" will someday be "old
> >ones".
> Ok, I've now had a button pushed.
> First, I started playing this game a DECADE ago, have been immensely
> for the last 5 years.  Many have played longer, but I'm hardly 'new' here.
> Let us please cease the rhetoric about time of play.  No one persons
> counts more or less for their time playing this game.  It should be
> considered or rejected SOLELY on the merits of the arguement.
> Timothy
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