[Elfsea] Fwd;Ansteorra (was Texas)

[Michelle Dodd]

>Things Ansteorrans Know About Ansteorra!
>
>Armadillos sleep in the middle of the road with their feet in the air.
>
>Roadrunners don't say "Beep Beep"
>
>There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 live in Ansteorra.
>
>There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 live in Ansteorra, plus a
>couple no one's seen before.
>
>Possums will eat anything.
>
>Armadillos love to dig holes under tomato plants.
>
>Raccoons will test your crop of melons and let you know when they are ripe.
>
>If it grows, it sticks; if it crawls, it bites.
>
>Nothing will kill a mesquite tree.
>
>There are valid reasons some people put concertina wire around their house.
>
>You cannot find a country road without a curve from corner to corner.
>
>A tractor is NOT an all-terrain vehicle. They do get stuck.
>
>Ansteorra has 6 seasons:
>1. Spring, Feb 16 to April 15
>2. Summer, April 16 to July 15 (temp 90 to 98 degrees)
>3. Super Summer, July 16 to Sept 10 (temp 100 to 115 degrees)
>4. Summer, Sept. 11 to Oct 1 (temp 90 to 98 degrees)
>5. Fall, Oct 2 to Dec. 1
>6. Winter Dec. 2 to Feb 15
>
>The wind blows at 90 MPH from Oct. 2 until June 25, then it stops totally
>until Oct 2.
>
>Onced and Twiced are words.
>
>It is not a shopping cart, it's a buggy.
>
>Fireants consider your flesh as a picnic.
>
>Graduating 1st in your class means you left in the 8th grade.
>
>Coldbeer is one word.
>
>People actually grow and eat okra.
>
>Ansteorrans really don't have an accent.
>
>When the world ends, only cockroaches and mesquite trees will survive.
>
>Green grass DOES burn.
>
>When you live in the country, you don't have to buy a dog. City people drop
>them off at your gate in the middle of the night.
>
>The sound of coyotes howling at night only sounds good for the first couple
>of weeks.
>
>When a buzzard sits on the fence and stares at you, it's time to go to the
>doctor.
>
>Fixinto is one word.
>
>A tank is a dirt hole in the ground that holds water for irrigation.
>
>The word dinner is confusing. There's only lunch and then there's supper.
>
>Tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you're 2.
>
>Backards and forards mean I know everything about you.
>
>'Jeet? is actually a phrase meaning "Did you eat?"
>
>You don't have to wear a watch because it doesn't matter what time it is.
>You work until you're done or it's too dark to see.
>
>And the most important thing...... There's no place I'd rather be then
>Ansteorra!
>

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