[Elfsea] What Would the Great Bard Say?

[Ciarlariello, Keith W]

This message is in MIME format. Since your mail reader does not understand
this format, some or all of this message may not be legible.
--
[ Picked text/plain from multipart/alternative ]


> DRAMATIS PERSONAE
>
> The Iraqi Theater
> What would the Bard think about the war?
>
> BY WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE
> Wednesday, March 5, 2003 12:01 a.m. EST
> George W. Bush to Saddam Hussein:
> 	Check thy contempt; obey our will, which
> 	Travails in thy good; believe not thy disdain,
> 	But presently do thine own fortunes that
> 	Obedient right which both thy duty owes
> 	And our power claims, or I will throw thee
> 	From my care forever into the staggers and
> 	The careless lapse of youth and ignorance,
> 	Both my revenge and hate loosing upon thee
> 	In the name of justice without all terms of
> 	Pity.
> Dick Cheney:
> 	We have strict statutes and most biting laws,
> 	The needful bits and curbs to headstrong
> 	Steeds, which for this fourteen years we
> 	Have let slip, even like an overgrown lion in
> 	A cave that goes not out to prey.
> 	Now, as fond fathers, having bound up the
> 	Threatening twigs of birch only to
> 	Stick it in their children's sight for terror,
> 	Not to use, in time the rod becomes more
> 	Mocked than feared, so our decrees,
> 	Dead to infliction, to themselves are dead,
> 	And liberty plucks justice by the nose;
> 	The baby beats the nurse,
> 	And quite athwart goes all decorum.
> Donald Rumsfeld:
> 	Nothing emboldens sin so much as mercy.
> 	To kill, I grant, is sin's extremest gust,
> 	But in defense, by mercy, 'tis most just.
> 	A speedier course than lingering
> 	Languishment must we pursue, and I have
> 	Found the path.
> Colin Powell:
> 	Leave those remnants of fool and feather
> 	That they got in France, with all their
> 	Honorable points of ignorance abusing
> 	Better men than they can be out of a foreign
> 	Wisdom, renouncing clean the faith they
> 	Have in tennis and tall stockings, short
> 	Blistered breeches.
> Saddam Hussein:
> 	This tyrant, whose sole name blisters our tongues.
> Osama bin Laden:
> 	Ungracious wretch, fit for the mountains
> 	And the barbarous caves, where manners
> 	Never were preached.
> Kofi Annan:
> 	Speaks an infinite deal of nothing,
> 	More than any man in all Venice. His
> 	Reasons are as two grains of wheat hid in
> 	Two bushels of chaff; you shall seek all day
> 	Ere you find them, and when you have them
> 	They are not worth the search.
> Hans Blix:
> 	And in his brain, which is as dry as
> 	The remainder biscuit after a voyage,
> 	He hath strange places crammed with
> 	Observation, the which he vents in mangled
> 	Forms.
> Tony Blair:
> 	I will keep where there is wit stirring and
> 	Leave the faction of fools.
> Jacques Chirac:
> 	What cracker is this same that deafs our ears
> 	With this abundance of superfluous breath?
> France:
> 	France, thou shalt rue this hour within this hour.
> Gerhard Schroeder:
> 	This is a slight unmeritable man,
> 	Meet to be sent on errands.
> Vladimir Putin:
> 	Is 't possible the spells of France should
> 	Juggle men into such strange mysteries?
> Bill Clinton:
> 	This butcher's cur is venom mouthed,
> 	And I have not the power to muzzle him.
> 	He's a most notable coward, and infinite
> 	And endless liar, an hourly promise-breaker,
> 	The owner of no one good quality worthy
> 	Your lordship's entertainment.
> Hillary Clinton:
> 	A callet of boundless tongue, who late hath
> 	Beat her husband and now baits me.
> John Kerry:
> 	There can be no kernel in this light nut.
> 	The soul of this man is his clothes.
> Edward Kennedy:
> 	Nettled and stung with pismires, when I hear
> 	Of this politician.
> Sean Penn:
> 	I will show myself highly fed and lowly taught.
> Martin Sheen:
> 	For what thou professest, a baboon,
> 	Could he speak, would own a name too dear.
> Susan Sarandon:
> 	O gull! O dolt! As ignorant as dirt!
> 	Come, you are a tedious fool.
> Mike Farrell:
> 	The portrait of a blinking idiot.
> 	A lunatic lean-witted fool.
> Sheryl Crow:
> 	Sir, there she stands. If aught within that
> 	Little seeming substance . . .
> New York Times:
> 	Tedious it were to tell, and harsh to hear.
> Antiwar protesters:
> 	There are a crew of wretched souls.
> 	Go hang yourselves all! You are idle
> 	Shallow things.
> Mothers of antiwar protesters:
> 	As they were sons of mine, I'd have them
> 	Whipped, or I would send them to the Turk,
> 	To make eunuchs of.
> Iraqis on Saddam:
> 	All the commons hate him perniciously and,
> 	O' my conscience, wish him ten fathom
> 	Deep.
> Middle America to Hollywood:
> 	You blocks, you stones, you worse than
> 	Senseless things!
> American soldiers to Saddam Hussein:
> 	You shall have your deliverance with an
> 	Unpitied whipping, for you have been a
> 	Notorious bawd.
> Mr. Shakespeare was a British playwright. Thanks to reader Ken Liu for
> sending us this compilation of quotes.
>