[Elfsea] FW: [Northkeep] IN HONOR OF TARTAN DAY

[Betsy Marshal]

> -----Original Message-----
> From: northkeep-bounces+betsy=softwareinnovation.com at ansteorra.org
> [mailto:northkeep-bounces+betsy=softwareinnovation.com at ansteorra.org] On
> Behalf Of Niewoehner, Hugh
> Sent: Thursday, April 07, 2005 8:07 AM
> To: northkeep at ansteorra.org
> Subject: [Northkeep] IN HONOR OF TARTAN DAY
> Importance: Low
> 
> 
> 
> Great Events in Scottish History:
> 
> 1326 - The game of golf was invented in Scotland, followed shortly
> thereafter by the invention of the word "DAMMIT!"
> 
> 1410 - Drinky MacDrunkard discovered how to make single malt scotch. He
> was then beaten to death by his neighbors when they found out they had
> to wait 12 years before they could drink it.
> 
> 1453 - Kurt MacCobain invented the plaid flannel kilt and followed it up
> with his hit song "Smells Like Distilled Spirits"
> 
> 1570 - Godawful MacScreechy conceived the idea for a new musical
> instrument after getting drunk and accidentally setting fire to his cat.
> 
> 1623 - The Scots invented money. That same year, they also invented
> tight-fisted skinflintery.
> 
> 1697 - By a three-vote margin, the Scots lost the "Brawlingest
> Drunkards" award to the Irish. A title which the Irish still hold to
> this day.
> 
> 1724 - Smartass MacJoker entered his newly created dish, haggis, into
> the Betty MacCrocker Cooking contest as a prank. The judges, being three
> sheets to the wind at the time, picked it as the winner, and the
> culinary atrocity has been a Scottish staple ever since.
> 
> 1823 - Crazy MacWhacko stayed sober for an entire year, and was hung for
> treason.
> 
> 1907 - Tipsy MacSwigger invented drunk driving.
> 
> 2257 - Montgomery Scott, beloved alcoholic engineer of the Starship
> Enterprise, started a bar fight with some Klingons at Space Station K-7,
> thus finally bringing honor and the "Brawlingest Drunkards" trophy back
> to Scotland.
> 
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