[Elfsea] FW: [Loch-Ruadh] Men's gifts

[Polydore]

Or even knives and hatchets.
I even know one guy that has been known to sleep with a knife! (grin)

Wilkerson, Glen D wrote:

> Guns, you forgot guns - you can never have enough guns.  Or swords...
>  
> Alaric 
>
> ------------------------------------------------------------------------
> *From:* elfsea-bounces+glen.d.wilkerson=lmco.com at ansteorra.org 
> [mailto:elfsea-bounces+glen.d.wilkerson=lmco.com at ansteorra.org] *On 
> Behalf Of *Richard Threlkeld
> *Sent:* Wednesday, December 07, 2005 2:08 PM
> *To:* elfsea at ansteorra.org
> *Subject:* [Elfsea] FW: [Loch-Ruadh] (no subject)
>
> With thanks to Loch-ruadh.
> Caelin
>
> ------------------------------------------------------------------------
> *From:* loch-ruadh-bounces+rjt=softwareinnovation.com at ansteorra.org on 
> behalf of Julie Self
> *Sent:* Wed 12/7/2005 1:10 PM
> *To:* landsglover at hotmail.com; loch-ruadh at ansteorra.org; 
> self67 at hotmail.com
> *Subject:* [Loch-Ruadh] (no subject)
>
>
>
> Subject: Men's gifts
> With the holidays approaching, use these Shopping Rules for Men's  Gifts
>
> Rule #1:
>
> When in doubt - buy him a cordless drill. It does not  matter if
> he already has one. I have a friend who owns 17 and he has yet  to
> complain.  As a man, you can never have too many cordless drills. No  one
> knows why.
>
> Rule #2:
>
> If you cannot afford a cordless drill, buy  him anything with the
> word ratchet or socket in it. Men love saying those two  words.
> "Hey George, can I borrow your ratchet?" "OK. "By-the-way, are
> you  through with my 3/8-inch socket yet?" Again, no one  knows
> why.
>
>
> Rule #3:
>
> If you are really, really broke, buy him  anything for his car. A
> 99-cent  ice scraper, a small bottle of deicer  or something to hang from
> his  rear view mirror. Men love gifts for  their cars. No one knows why.
>
>
> Rule #4:
>
> Do not buy men socks. Do not  buy men ties. And never buy men bathrobes.
> I was told that if God had wanted  men to wear bathrobes, he
> wouldn't have invented Jockey shorts.
>
>
> Rule  #5:
>
>
> You can buy men new remote controls to replace the ones they  have
> worn out. If you have a lot of money buy your man a big-screen  TV
> with the little picture in the corner. Watch him go wild as he
> flips,  and flips, and flips.
>
>
> Rule #6:
>
> Do not buy a man any of those fancy  liqueurs, except Godiva.  If you 
> do, it
> will
> sit in a cupboard for 23 years.
>
>
> Rule  #7:
>
> Do not buy any man industrial-sized canisters of after shave  or
> deodorant. I'm told they do not stink - they are earthy.
>
>
> Rule  #8:
>
> Buy men label makers. Almost as good as cordless drills. Within  a
> couple  of weeks there will be labels absolutely everywhere. Socks.  
> Shorts.
> Cups. Saucers. Door. Lock. Sink. You get the idea. No one  knows
> why.
>
>
> Rule #9:
>
> Never buy a man anything that says "some  assembly required" on
> the  box.  It will ruin his day and he will  always have parts left  over.
>
>
> Rule #10:
>
> Good places to shop for  men include Northwest Iron Works, Parr
> Lumber, Home Depot, Lowes, John Deere,  Valley RV Center, and Les Schwab
> Tire. (NAPA Auto Parts and Sears' Clearance  Centers are also excellent
> men's
> stores.)  It doesn't matter if he  doesn't know what it is. "From NAPA 
> Auto,
> eh?
> Must be something I need.  Hey isn't this a starter for a '68
> Ford Fairlane? Wow! Thanks.")
>
>
> Rule  #11:
>
>
> Men enjoy danger. That's why they never cook - but they will  barbecue.
> Get him a monster barbecue with a 100-pound propane tank.  Tell
> him the gas line leaks. "Oh the thrill! The challenge! Who  wants
> a  hamburger?"
>
>
> Rule #12:
>
> Tickets to a football, hockey  or basketball game are a smart gift.
> However, he will not appreciate tickets  to "A Retrospective of
> 19th Century Quilts." Everyone knows why.
>
>
> Rule  #13:
>
> Men love chainsaws. Never, ever, buy a man you love a Chainsaw.
> If  you don't know why - please refer to Rule #8 and what happens
> when he gets a  label maker.
>
>
> Rule #14:
>
> It's hard to beat a really good wheelbarrow or  an aluminum
> extension ladder. Never buy a real man a step ladder. It must  be
> an extension ladder. No one knows why.
>
>
> Rule #15:
>
> Rope. Men love  rope. It takes us back to our cowboy origins, or
> at  least the Boy  Scouts. Nothing says love like a hundred feet of 3/8"
> manila rope. No one  knows why.
>
>
> Julie/Gwen/Mom
> Loch Ruadh Rocks!!
>
>
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>
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