[Elfsea] Here are the 10 first place winners in the InternationalPun Contest:

[Julie Self]

You are absolutely NUTZ!  I am still laughing!!!!

Gwen
Loch Ruadh Rocks!!





>From: <pcrandal at sbcglobal.net>
>Reply-To: Barony of Elfsea <elfsea at ansteorra.org>
>To: elfsea at ansteorra.org
>Subject: [Elfsea] Here are the 10 first place winners in the 
>InternationalPun Contest:
>Date: Wed, 30 Nov 2005 10:47:10 -0800 (PST)
>
>
>
>
>
>1. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons.  The 
>stewardess looks at him and says, "I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed 
>per passenger."
>
>2 Two fish swim into a concrete wall.  The one turns to the other and says 
>"Dam!"
>
>3. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the 
>craft.  Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your 
>kayak and heat it too.
>
>4. Two hydrogen atoms meet.  One says "I've lost my electron." The other 
>says "Are you sure?" The first replies "Yes, I'm positive."
>
>5. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root 
>canal?  His goal: transcend dental medication.
>
>6. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in 
>the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories.  After about an 
>hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse.  "But 
>why?", they asked, as they moved off.  "Because," he said, " I can't stand 
>chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."
>
>7. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption.  One of them goes to a 
>family in and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in ; they name 
>him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth 
>mother.  Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes 
>she also had a picture of Ahmal.  Her husband responds, "They're twins!  If 
>you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."
>
>8. These friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a 
>small florist shop to raise funds.  Since everyone liked to buy flowers 
>from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition 
>was unfair.  He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not.  
>He went back and begged the friars to close.  They ignored him.  So, the 
>rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in 
>town to "persuade" them to close.  Hugh beat up the friars and trashed 
>their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop.  Terrified, 
>they did so, thereby proving that only Hugh, can prevent florist friars.
>
>9. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which 
>produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet.  He also ate very 
>little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from 
>bad breath. This made him ...(Oh, man, this is so bad, it's good).....  A 
>super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
>
>10. And finally, there was the person who sent ten different puns to 
>friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. 
>  No pun in ten did.
>
>
>
>"In all life one should comfort the afflicted, but verily, also, one should
>afflict the comfortable, and especially when they are comfortably,
>contentedly, even happily wrong."
>-John Kenneth Galbraith


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