[Elfsea] OT - teacher humour

Greg Shetler frayduck at comcast.net
Tue Nov 22 11:14:37 PST 2005

Sorry, false urban legend per snopes.com:


I first saw this one about two years ago.  Here is an excerpt of the text at


"The putative answering machine message for Palisades Charter High quoted
above was concocted in part as a reaction to the brouhaha over the school's
attendance policy, and in part as a sardonic expression of all the usual
frustrations teachers experience in dealing with students and parents:
fabricated excuses for students' absences and uncompleted homework, blame
that teachers are solely responsible for the failures of non-achieving
students, complaints from parents about not having received information
already sent to them several times, etc. However, the staff "voted" for the
message only in the sense that they agreed with its sentiments (the
circulating version of this piece often omits the introductory line "Too bad
they can't actually use it . . ."); it was not ever actually placed on the
phone answering system at Palisades Charter High. (In fact, Palisades
Charter High phone system doesn't have menu options -- when the office is
open a switchboard operator fields calls, and when the office is closed a
recording invites the caller to leave a voicemail message or press keys to
access a specific extension directly.) "


"Last updated:   26 December 2002"



From: elfsea-bounces+frayduck=comcast.net at ansteorra.org
[mailto:elfsea-bounces+frayduck=comcast.net at ansteorra.org] On Behalf Of
pcrandal at sbcglobal.net
Sent: Tuesday, November 22, 2005 11:12
To: elfsea at ansteorra.org
Subject: [Elfsea] OT - teacher humour


(This is hilarious, no wonder some people
were offended!) This is the message that the Pacific
Palisades High School (California) Staff voted
unanimously to record on their school telephone
answering machine. This came about because they
implemented a policy requiring students and parents
to be responsible for their children's absences and
missing homework.

The school and teachers are being sued by
parents who want their children's failing grades
changed to passing grades even though those children
were absent 15-30 times during the semester and did
not complete enough school work to pass their

This is the actual answering machine message
for the school

"Hello! You have reached the automated
answering service of your school. In order to assist
you in connecting the right staff member, please
listen to all your options before making a

"To lie about why your child is absent -
Press 1

"To make excuses for why your child did not
do his work- Press 2

"To complain about what we do - Press 3

"To swear at staff members - Press 4

"To ask why you didn't get information that
was already enclosed in your newsletter and several
flyers mailed to you - Press 5

"If you want us to raise your child - Press 6

"If you want to reach out and touch, slap or
hit someone - Press 7

"To request another teacher for the third
time this year- Press 8

"To complain about bus transportation -
Press 9

"To complain about school lunches - Press 0

"If you realize this is the real world and
your child must be accountable and responsible for
his/her own behavior, class work, homework, and that
it's not the teachers' fault for your child's lack
of effort: Hang up and have a nice day!"

If you can read this thank a teacher.

If you are reading it in English thank a

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