[Elfsea] Why people are not staying

[Cid Tyer]

Good morning lords and ladies -

It has been some time since I have been active - Warlord was really my first
event in several years and has served as a spring board to get myself going
again.  The reason for going was to bring a young couple that specifically
asked me to take them to an SCA event.

I'm writing this because I have to dispute that the vigil specific to
Warlord was a private party; maybe that was the original intent.  I did know
several people in the party and actually encountered Duke Miguel (I believe
that is his current title, if not please correct me!) who made a point of
inviting myself and the others that were with me.  I actually drug the
husband of the couple almost kicking and screaming to the party because he
thought that the people "with the pointy hats" would be rude, stuck up and
boring.  Literally within five minutes of having arrived and introducing him
to several people whom I felt would be patient with him - who also "wore
shiny pointy hats" this young couple was out of my hands and having a very
grand time being introduced to people and learning about who they were, what
they did, and how they supported the kingdom.  I believe they finally
retired around 3am with a thoroughly changed view of "shiny pointy hats".
The absolute warmth and patience with which they were accepted into a
ceremony they didn't understand is a credit to our peers.  I don't think the
issue lies so much with those who have attained a rank, it is the perception
of others as to what they must be like because they're a ........ (insert
appropriate rank and title).  I think perhaps a little more attention on
both sides would do much service.

A good deal of this I feel is perception.  When I joined the SCA I was 18
and was very active and after very little exposure I realized that those
people with the brass hats were not people to be afraid of or given much
room - they're there to help and with very little introduction I've found
them to be great people who readily toss in some advice or even help.  A
handful of the people who were very influential for my first period in the
SCA were people who were of one rank or another and I found that I learned
much from them and still continue to learn from them - because I ask.  Maybe
I have fewer reservations about approaching people and asking questions than
others, but I find that people don't get what they want because they don't
ask.

These are my thoughts.  Take them or leave them for what they're worth.

In Service,
Lady Irina Radokovaia
(Cid)
-- 
"My heart is red & sweet, and I know it is sweet because what ever passes
near me puts out its tongue to me." --Sitting Bull
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