[Elfsea] geting older

Christine Huse cehuse at gmail.com
Tue Jun 3 10:00:16 PDT 2008


Hola!

I know it has been a very very very long time since I posted and some of the
newer people are going "Who is this woman??". Well briefly to those who
don't know me, I am Lady Maria Cabeca de Vaca.  I started playing in January
2000 and have been inactive since just before Christmas last year.  I hold
an AoA, a Sable Thistle and an Elfsea Portcullis...I am also Mistress Xene's
Protege', of which I am so honored to be her student (she is such an awesome
lady).

Before I start, I need to say a hearty Vivat to Her Grace!  Though we don't
always agree, I admire your ability to be the first person to say that there
is a stinky egg in the hen house.

I don't know about the problems others have experienced, but my big...no
HUGE beef is that no ever says thank you anymore....unless you are someone
of importance.  I was asked 3 years in a row to run the children's
activities at Warlord, I was never publicly thanked.  The fourth year I was
asked to do it again, I said could not do it....yes, I lied.  I lied because
I felt I was unappreciated. Why should I run 3 days of activities and not
get a simple thank you??  I've helped people set up their sites and again no
thank you from the person I helped. Recently, when I stepped down from a
Kingdom Office and had handed over everything, I opened the Black Star and
there was no mention of thanking me for running the office.  I was crushed.
I admit I didn't do my best near the end in my office but I had a ton of
mundane things going on in my life (which is the reason I stepped down), but
it is still no excuse for a lack of bad manners.  As a result, I will most
likely never volunteer to run an office again....nor just volunteer again.

Back-Stabbing....Oh my Lord!!  Have I seen too much of it!  I sit around the
list field and it's all I hear! I hear someone talking smack about another
person's outfit, or it's someone's fighting style or the way someone's child
is dressed....then they laugh nervously.  Or I hear about someone screwing
up somewhere, in an office, in real life, it doesn't matter what.  Does it
make people feel better about themselves when they trash someone else??  I
thought we were supposed to be filled with love and grace? I have gotten to
a point that I hate sitting around the list field because the conversations
are just so negative!

Complaints...Why is everyone afraid to complain to their local liege?
Because when we do we are told to sit down and shutup and then we are
treated like the black sheep of the group.  I know because I did complain
about a local officer once (and mind you I never complained before). I was
told that I was under the influence of another in the Barony, I didn't know
what I was talking about and then made to feel like an idiot. I went to
meetings after my confrontation and was made to feel very much unwanted.
Every time I volunteered I was told no.  So, I left and went to play
elsewhere....where I was wanted and my observations were about the problems
in my local group were honestly listened to.

I was talking to His Excellency of Bjornsburgh a couple of years about the
most serious problem they were facing, their older members were leaving and
he couldn't understand why. I flat out told them because of the lack of
manners in the Society today and because the magic was gone. I went on to
explain that too many people are here for the awards and it starts the petty
politics and backstabbing. He sadly shook his head agreed with me.

We need to bring back the fun and magic of the SCA.  Take your sour words
elsewhere, thank those who helped you and dress your children in period
style clothes (yes, I know they outgrow them as soon as you make them and
it's a pain...I have 3 children), do your best to cover your mundane items
and don't lambaste people when they have a complaint.  Awards are a nice
thing to strive for, but they are not the end all and be all of this Society
(remember, putting on your resume that you have an award in the SCA will
only get you a weird look and wearing your regalia outside the SCA might get
you committed)   And remember.....WE ARE HERE TO HAVE FUN!!!! Otherwise what
is the purpose?

Right now, I honestly can't say when I will play again. I have been burned
so badly in the last few years, I may only come to an occasional event to
say hi to my friends. My last couple events were only enjoyable at night
sitting with my friends and talking long into the night. I can't justify
paying as much money as I do for my large family to go to an event and sit
around a campfire with my friends at night when I can meet them at a
campground and pay far less for the same experience.

I am so sorry my letter was long and it might make people mad, but people
have been asking and I have been quiet for such a long time....

Maria



On Tue, Jun 3, 2008 at 2:02 AM, willowjonbardc at juno.com <
willowjonbardc at juno.com> wrote:

> This getting older doesn't make sense. I have been in for 40 years and for
> the first 32 we had a no problem with "getting older". We had a whole range
> of ages. Ten years ago something happened. We started losing people. Young
> people would not stay and we started the 5 year life span. then we started
> having the age gap.
>
> so what happened ten years ago. first we had the problem with all the
> knights swearing the stupid oath. Then we had the problems with Duke Michael
> and Master Daniel. Then the power of the Dukes were broken and for the first
> time in five years knights were being made that weren't sponsored by a duke
> or count. They lions of Ansteorra split in two groups over the lost of the
> Lion's Sword. Duke Inman and Duke Siegumd stopped being active. That year
> the bardic part of Gulf war was stopped and we had no performing arts at
> Kingdom A&S.
>
> Somewhere around then we stopped stressing living in a historical manner
> and took to stressing documentation. The study of history became associated
> with paperwork.
> Sometime during this period we started limiting calendar events.
>
> We had just had the problems with the BOD and we lost a lot of people.
>
> People help me.  Can you think of anything we stopped doing locally that
> might have caused this gap in our recruiting.
>  Did we have this problem;m during Xene and Llewellyn or Galen's time as
> Baron/ess? I didn't think so but I wasn't active in the group too much.
> Either something were doing stopped working or we stopped doing something.
> Lets brainstorm to figure this out.
> Willow
> _____________________________________________________________
> Hotel pics, info and virtual tours.  Click here to book a hotel online.
>
> http://thirdpartyoffers.juno.com/TGL2111/fc/Ioyw6iiflKGUYkB3JfTKjsasw68wGZCOremtx66jpBqgQa2QWOaoK6/?count=1234567890
>
>
> _______________________________________________
> Elfsea mailing list
> Elfsea at lists.ansteorra.org
> http://lists.ansteorra.org/listinfo.cgi/elfsea-ansteorra.org
>
-------------- next part --------------
An HTML attachment was scrubbed...
URL: <http://lists.ansteorra.org/pipermail/elfsea-ansteorra.org/attachments/20080603/b94a0068/attachment-0009.htm>


More information about the Elfsea mailing list